Toward the end of the summer, I began taking an antidepressant for my Generalized Anxiety Disorder and accompanying depression.
The last few months have reminded me that I made a positive decision.
I was lucky not to experience any major side effects (just some temporarily increased anxiety and slight insomnia in the beginning), and I’ve noticed I am much more in control of my emotions. I’m not as easily agitated, things at home and in the office don’t stress me out like they used to, and my marriage is stronger (not that it wasn’t before, but now it’s even better).
Overall, I’ve been feeling really good.
But then…
But then the other day, I just felt sad.
I woke up in a decent mood (for a Monday!), but as I scrambled to avoid being late for work (why do I always do this?!), I just felt overtaken by a funk.
And that funk managed to grab hold of me throughout the work day. I even let it affect some of my decisions at work.
Don't let a funk define you. #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth Share on XOf course, my first thought was “OH MY GOD WHY IS MY MEDICINE NO LONGER WORKING?!!”
I sulked and ate my feelings in Christmas candy and felt like I was moving backward rather than forward.
But then I thought “I haven’t written about this on the blog in a while” (sad but true).
And, so, here I am doing what I (debatably) do best—writing it out.
A funk isn’t forever. It is a temporary mood or feeling that may or may not be related to any external stimuli.
Apart from a little sleep-deprivation (thank you, two-year-old), my life is pretty much the same.
I’m still eating fairly well, I’m still exercising when I feel like it, I’m still blogging when I have time, I’m still enjoying date nights with Mark (though not as often as we need them), and I really have no other reason to be in a funk except for the sheer fact that I’m human.
Having bad days just means you're human... #TOL #mentalhealth Share on XHumans have good days and humans have bad days. Whether we’re feeling up or down, no single day defines us.
Even the healthiest person becomes angry or sad or disheartened.
And, so, I remind myself that it will pass.
The crazy thing? I’m already feeling better. I went home, hugged my Bazooka, played fetch with Iggy, chatted with Mark, and mentioned how I was in a weird funk.
I ate a filling dinner, did some blog work, drank my favorite flavor of kombucha (lavender!), got a little frustrated with the computer when I couldn’t find an e-mail that I had purposely archived so I would be able to find it later (story of my life), and thought about some things that had been bugging me during the day before going to bed.
Although I tossed and turned a little while before falling asleep, I woke up the next day refreshed and ready to move on.
To move on to another day, with another set of circumstances, experiences, and feelings.
And that is why I know my medication and personal coping mechanisms are effective. And that much of what I feel—or choose to feel—is in my control.
News flash: it’s ok to feel sad sometimes! #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression Share on X[linking up for thinking out loud]
So tell me…
- When was the last time you were in a funk?
- How do you handle negative emotions?
I had a breakup recently and it put me in a spin of emotions. Thankfully, I am in a better place now but for a while, I was pretty dissatisfied with my mood.
Oh, I’m sorry – breakups are difficult. I’m glad you’re getting to a better place. Hope that upswing continues! <3
I know what you mean by those flashes, those days of sadness. I think it comes along with the state of the world. Some day there will be a new world with no more tears, but in this world we will still have tears, and so I’m grateful for the comfort of God’s Word and the hope of Jesus Christ that I’m especially reminded of every day. <3
Love you Catherine. <3
Thank you Emily <3
I think you're absolutely right...I struggle with guilt a lot. Guilt for making my own mistakes and hurting the feelings of my loved ones, but also a sort of "surviver's guilt" or "privilege guilt" when I think about the situation in Syria or of the less fortunate in our own country and hometowns. Have a beautiful Christmas!
I’ve been in and out of a funk for a few months. LOTS of things going on at home, dealing with the stress of an injury and the hassle of trying to get the military medical system to move FASTER, and just basic seasonal ick. Usually, to really handle the negative emotions, I workout or go for a run. Since that’s not so much an option right now, I walk a lot. And sometimes I cry. And sometimes I put the stereo on really, really, really loud and have a dance party in my dining room. Think I’m finally on the upswing! Thanks for sharing.
Walking is big for me, too. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all that…it does sound like a whole lot of stress and frustration. I hope things work out in the near future and the your injury heals. All the best <3
As always, you know that I hear you and understand you. What, for me, is the biggest difference between a down day or moment and depression is not only the length, but also how the down moment makes me feel about myself–do I just have a little bit of not feeling peppy? Or am I thinking that there is no reason to move? Does getting up and moving help?
Sometimes, you are just going to feel a little sad–and that is normal and IMPORTANT. No one wants to be numb. I’m so glad that you are having a positive experience on your medication. That is really fantastic to hear.
Exactly – that is a big difference for me (you know, after the melodramatic freaking out) as well. And the more I learn about life and my feelings/experiences, the easier it is to discern what may just be a down day or moment as opposed to something more. <3