Do you have a good memory? I can’t always remember what I ate for dinner the night before or what we did last weekend (#mombrain), but there are certain memories from decades ago that stick out to me.
I guess everybody is like that?
Anyway, I can’t recall (go figure) what provoked the resurfacing of this memory, but something—a podcast or quote, maybe?—led me to reminisce an incident in kindergarten that I will never forget.
Eraser-less Pencils: Lessons in Perfectionism
Do you remember those big, fat pencils that didn’t have erasers? I think every pre-school or kindergarten student used those when learning how to write for the first time. They were easy to grip!
Despite their ease of grip, those pencils weren’t very conducive to correcting errors.
One time I made a mistake on my handwriting “homework,” and, not wanting to just leave it the way it was, I tried to “erase” the pencil. Without an eraser, that proved to be difficult.
My “corrective efforts” created a huge mess because I wet the paper and tried to rub away the pencil markings.
I ended up getting a “C” (or whatever less-than-perfect “grade” we were given at that age) on that homework.
I don’t remember my exact feelings, but being the little perfectionist I was even at that young age, I am sure I cried and stomped and felt the entire world was against me (basically how I react to disappointment/failure as an adult).
And I’m sure my mother hugged me, reassured me that I was smart, and made clear that it was OK—normal, even—to make mistakes.
Now I’m sure this teacher had no idea that eraser-less pencils had a deeper meaning or purpose other than teaching hand-writing, and I mean no disrespect to this kind and nurturing woman who died from cancer many years ago (RIP).
But of course, it got me thinking.
How many of us are stuck with eraser-less pencils even today?
How many of us have allowed the image and idea of perfectionism to be drilled into our being so deeply that we allow a single mistake to ruin our entire perception of ourselves?
Learn from Your Mistakes
We should always, always strive to improve ourselves and to grow from experience and knowledge, but we have to remember that mistakes—big and small—are an essential part of life.
Mistakes are how we learn.
But even though mistakes are a big part of life, I think we all have a right to an eraser. Or correction tape. Or, in today’s electronic world, a delete button.
While we can never completely erase the impact of our mistakes—especially the hateful words and dangerous actions that bring harm to our own lives or to other people—we should be able to pull out that eraser or correction tape when needed.
Your mistakes do NOT define you! Share on XWe should never feel that perfection is the only measure of our worth. That a little hint of graphite or smudge of ink or a full page of angry strike-outs and scribbles is a measure of inadequacy.
Even the best leaders and innovators make mistakes. In fact, some of the most important discoveries resulted from experiments gone “wrong!”
I guess my point (pun not intended) is that, yes, it’s noble to put our best foot forward and try to produce high quality work.
It’s important to make goals and try your best to achieve them, but it’s ok if you fall short sometimes.
It’s fine if you need to back-space or use that eraser.
And if you don’t have an eraser, it’s ok to acknowledge the imperfection or mistake and move forward.
You don’t have to be perfect.
Do you make use of your “eraser?” Sharing lessons in #perfectionism Share on X[thanks for letting me think out loud]
So tell me…
- Do you struggle with perfectionism?
- What recent disappointment or mistake has turned into something positive in your life?
- Did you ever use those fat, eraser-less pencils or am I just showing my age?
I forgot all about those pencils! What a great lesson they taught, without even trying to. I’m a perfectionist for sure and it’s hard to let things go that aren’t right.
I’m glad others remember those darn pencils, haha. I think perfectionism is a more common trait than most of us think. We’re all so focused on ourselves that we don’t even realize others go through the same thing.
Great post. I am slowly learning to focus on good instead of perfect. It’s a game changer when it comes to productivity.
Such a great way to put that – focus on the GOOD instead of perfect. Because good is attainable if we do our best, but perfect never will be!
It’s so interesting, because I never thought I was a perfectionist, but I realized that I do. I feel really bad when I don’t do a meal just right or if everybody doesn’t like it, but I’ve learned that those are really opportunities to tweak, to learn, to hear people’s thoughts, and learn what I could do better without beating myself up about it. I’ve also had to tell myself, ‘The kitchen does not have to be perfect before you go to bed.’ It’s freeing, but it’s hard some days… I love this because it’s a good reminder that we can’t undo the past, but we can learn from it and walk forward into the future.
Such a great point that we should use our “failures” (not even fair to call them that, but you know…) to learn and tweak for next time. Life isn’t a one-shot deal and we can learn from the past to shape our future.
I would say that for me, I am only a perfectionist with some things. Like cooking and organizing. If I get done and I don’t like it, it frustrates me that it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. Then I have to have a little sulking session, put my big girl panties on and get over it ha!
Yep, I’m the same way. I probably need to replenish my big girl panties stash, haha.
I had a similar kindergarten experience that I think shows that I have struggled with perfectionism since day 1- I remember crying in school because I did not get 100% on an oral vocabulary test and therefor I was not “the best” or the “perfect student.” I have come a long way since then lol, but looking at life as a learning experience is an excellent point!! Great post 🙂
Oh, man, I’ve had those crying moments in school too (another one was when I got my first “detention mark”). Just be kind to yourself, Sarah – and remember that even the best of the best make mistakes!
Great post, and such a relatable story. It’s funny–I’m very perfectionist about somethings, and very not about others. I counted calories to the exact calorie for about half a year, but my apartment is a mess. I read every single assignment my teachers assigned in college, and now I occasionally forget to grade my students’ homework. 😛
Eraserless pencil seems like a good metaphor for life. There’s not very many situations where we can go back and undo–and we have to be okay with that.
I get it. I often tell others that I’m a messy or lazy perfectionist. My house is a mess, too (hello toddler!) but I’m the same way about other things. But I often want to do the least amount possible to BE “perfect.” Oh, and I’m sure your students don’t mind too much if you forget to grade, haha. 🙂
it’s really important for me to remember that my mistakes don’t define me. I am human, I am going to make mistakes. It’s so easy to be so dang hard on ourselves about that!
Yes. No matter what, our mistakes do NOT define us. Plus, if we were all perfect, life would be awfully boring, right? 🙂
Love this analogy and I absolutely remember those pencils! I struggle with this too. We are so hard on ourselves! Thanks for the reminder!
We really are too hard on ourselves. And it’s crazy because I objectively KNOW that nobody else is critiquing me like I am, but I still can’t stop sometimes. Ugh!
I used to really struggle with perfectionism but I’ve grown out of it. Over time I’m realized there is so much in life you can control and the only thing you can control is your response to what happens. So I try to let things roll off my back!
Such an important thing to remember that we can only control OUR RESPONSE to things! I’m trying to get to that point of letting things roll off my back, too. Sometimes it’s a breeze, other times it’s not.
You know I can relate to this post! I definitely needed to read this right now because I’ve been struggling with liking my photography work, thinking it’s not good enough, because I truly want it to be perfect. It’s hard because as the “pro” I can see all the mistakes I make, but it’s unlikely that my clients will ever notice unless they’re trained in photography too. Because the work I do is for other people though, I hold it to an even higher standard because I know they’re paying for this. So it has to be perfect, right?!
For me, it’s been very important to remember that progress is more important than perfection. I have seen amazing progress in my work over the past year, but when I forget to look where I’ve come from, all I feel is failure that I’m not “good enough.” It’s so important for me to only compare to myself and not anyone else too.
“Progress is more important than perfection.” <--- So, so true! For what it's worth as a photography novice, I think your photos look incredible. But I totally get what you're saying. I critique the hell out of things I do - even things that are more for fun or a hobby (like this blog).
I don’t think I struggle with perfectionism as such, but I definitely struggle with needing to be in control and when things are out of my control…I freak out. So I’ve learnt that just like with perfectionism, you have to be okay with things not always turning out the way you planned or hoped…and moving on anyway.
I totally understand – I am a bit of a control freak, too! Learning that I can’t control every little thing has been quite a journey for me, too.
I totally struggle with perfectionism. But becoming a mom has pushed me a long way in overcoming that battle. Firstly, I am like most parents in that I’m overscheduled and trying to do ALL THE THINGS. Secondly, I am very aware that my two girls are learning from me and how I react when things don’t go perfectly. That’s the best inspiration to accept my mistakes!
Yes – knowing that my son is watching and learning from me helps me realize that it’s ok not to be perfect all the time. Because I’d hate to cause him to adopt a strict, self-critical, perfectionist mindset because of me!