Every third Friday in June is National Stop Cyberbullying Day. I am sharing my own experience with cyberbullying and online harassment as well as providing resources for victims, loved ones, and those who wish to advocate and do their part to make the web a more encouraging and accepting place.

I am 35 years old. I’ve been married for 11 years, I have a four-year-old son, and I’ve been active in the workforce for 12 years. You’d think any personal experience I’ve had with bullying would be years in the past.

And, yet, here we are.

Like most of my generation, I have a love/hate relationship with the internet and social media. I grew up with the advent of residential internet, AOL Instant Messenger (#RIP), and nascent “blogging” platforms like Live Journal.

I can remember signing up for Facebook THE DAY my alma mater was finally added to the social network. Our tiny liberal arts college HAD ARRIVED: let the silent stalking (only kidding) commence!

Despite my coming of age with the internet, I never experienced much negativity until 2018: the peak of trolling as a national pastime and the amalgamation of conspiracy theorists, faux news enthusiasts, and new age tribalism taking over our media.

I won’t share too many details of my own experience here (check out my Instagram stories, though, for more), but all you need to know is a few things:

my cyberbully wants to silence me and turn others—friends, coworkers, potential business partners—against me

my cyberbully appears to be threatened by my opinions, my talents, my self-awareness, and my relationships

my cyberbully is using me as a target for projecting their own anger, sadness, bigotry, and insecurities

and my cyberbully is a coward, choosing to hide behind anonymous images and user IDs instead of personal ones

I am mature enough and comfortable enough in my own skin to understand that the messages I receive aren’t about me. They don’t make me any less of a person. Even though they may make me angry or self-conscious for a moment (or two), they don’t become truths simply because they were spewed in ignorance.

But I can remember a time when I was dreadfully insecure. When I believed nasty comments and longed to fit in with my classmates. When I thought boys would like me and I could find happiness by making myself smaller or blonder or prettier. 

And I know there are young people out there experiencing far worse bullying than I do. Young people who haven’t reached a level of self-acceptance enabling them to let the hateful, sexist, racist, and homophobic judgments roll off their back and who feel lost and unable to seek help from a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend.

This post is for them—and their loved ones.

To learn more about Stop Cyberbullying Day or to find ways to contribute to the conversation and spread awareness, check out the following organizations:

Cyber Smile

StopBullying.gov

Upstand

No Bully

How to help on #stopcyberbullyingday #cupofcatherinecares #bekind Share on X

Remember: it is not YOUR fault if you’re a victim of bullying. It is not “in your head” if you feel somebody is harassing you. And you are not “weak” simply because you feel hurt or singled out and unable to handle things on your own.

If you are being bullied, REACH OUT to somebody you trust. If you are sad, scared, or emotionally numb, please talk to somebody because you matter. 

So tell me…

• Have you ever personally experienced bullying—cyber or otherwise?
• What is something you personally do to combat the prevalence of bullying.
• Do you think the internet has contributed to increased bullying? Why or why not?