Let’s talk about confidence.

After pondering body image in the last few months and reading this insightful post from Sam at Better with Sprinkles, I started thinking a bit more deeply about my own body image and recent surge in confidence.

I use the word “surge” with trepidation—because I frequently have days where I feel anything but confident (like when clothes shopping!)—but overall, I do feel happier in my own “skin.”

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While I firmly believe that true self-love stems from inner beauty (i.e., respect for ourselves, for our family, friends, strangers, and for the environment), like it or not, the way we view ourselves physically also has bearing on our confidence.

Although I’ve always been a good student and worker who received praises from teachers, family, coaches, etc., I’ve never had an over-abundance of confidence. I’m a self-identified introvert and my own worst critic, which means I find it much easier to dwell on negative comments or experiences than to brush them off. I’m also notorious for comparing myself to others (which is a sure-fire path to unhappiness).

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After struggling with what I can best describe as an existential crisis this past year, I’ve finally begun to accept who I am—flaws and all—and manifest the confidence that I only wish came naturally.

Recently I started to put more effort into my dress and appearance at work. My work environment is sometimes pretty filthy (the office is clean enough, but the dirty hangar and long walk from the parking lot during bad weather are sometimes problematic), but I’ve decided to wear nicer clothes anyway. I’ve actually started wearing skirts and dresses fairly often, and I’ve begun to smile more (despite my “resting bitch-face syndrome“). This sounds stupid and downright superficial, but it’s amazing how I feel more professional when I dress—and play—the part.

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And while I don’t encourage anybody to change their habits solely for others’ approval, it’s been nice to receive tactful compliments when I make the effort. Feeling confident about my appearance has also led me to feel the same way about my abilities, relationships, and performance at work.

Much like Sam mentions in her post, instead of avoiding mirrors or dissecting every so-called flaw on my body, I actually catch more glimpses of myself in them. That may sound incredibly vain, but I dare you to try it. When you wear a new pair of lacy underwear for the first time, check yourself out! When you step out of the shower, instead of turning away from the massive wall-hanging mirror, look straight ahead and tell your body that you love it. During Bikram yoga, stare down your wobbly, sweaty, and heavy-breathing self in the eyes (it’s impossible to avoid mirrors in the hot room!), and tell your determined reflection that it’s beautiful and strong.

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The more you say it, the more you will start to believe it. We all have blemishes and flaws we’d like to correct (hello finger toes, knobby knees, man shoulders, crooked hips, pale skin, the list could go on…), but these so-called flaws make us unique. If the criticism flows more freely than you’d like, then I challenge you to praise another part of your body for every one you feel isn’t measuring up. Pretty soon, your attention will be drawn to your bright blue eyes, the adorable freckles on your nose, your strong legs, your contagious smile, your bootylicious bottom, or whatever else makes you the beautiful and exceptional woman that you are. And when you’re comfortable in your own skin, your inner beauty will shine more brightly.