I didn’t want to do it, but after learning of my pregnancy, I thought it best to take an indefinite break from my beloved Bikram yoga.

My last practice was February 9^th, the day before my 30^th birthday, since I purposely wanted to end my twenties with quality time in the hot room.

Looking back, I now realize my body was undergoing some changes that affected my ability to hold and move deeply into certain postures.

A few times in February, my balance was off. I still held most postures well, but occasionally I couldn’t keep myself from flailing all over the place! It was frustrating, but I’d attributed it to setting up in different locations (than my usual front row) and having a cluttered mind.

During pranayama and other postures, I noticed that I couldn’t suck in my stomach as tightly as usual. I didn’t really think much of it; my stomach felt firmer, but I just assumed it was muscle.

The most obvious change, however, appeared during the floor series. While lying on my stomach for cobra, locust, and bow, I couldn’t help but notice a little more “cushion” beneath my chest. Over the last few months, both Mark and I noticed “the girls” had shrunk a little (apparently that’s where my weight loss—or gain—occurs!). And while I can’t pinpoint the day, it seemed like they had perked up significantly overnight! I was not complaining, but I did find it strange. Parts of the floor series, though not painful, were a bit uncomfortable due to tenderness.

It all made sense once I took that pregnancy test.

Even though I’d been practicing often for the first 5 weeks (not knowing I was pregnant), I didn’t feel comfortable continuing the remainder of the first trimester. Because there are so few legitimate medical studies on the safety of Bikram early in pregnancy—and because I was still dealing with the shock, stress, and fear of actually being pregnant—I tearfully drove to the studio on February 13th and asked to suspend my account.

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My former doctor (whom I never really felt comfortable with after 7 years of visits) did not even know what Bikram yoga was, so she offered no reassurance.

(Side note: This had nothing to do with yoga, but I’ve since found a new doctor whom I absolutely adore after just one visit. My old one is, I’m sure, a brilliant doctor and good person, but her attitude and bedside manner were not compatible with my personality. I trusted my instinct and started researching other local OB-GYNs after my first appointment, and I’m so relieved I listened to my gut.)

The owner of the studio was very understanding, and shared information on a former yogi (and OB-GYN) who practiced before, during, and after her own pregnancy with zero complications. Still, I was too overwhelmed to do anything else but take a break.

After doing some of my own research and talking to my current doctor about my practice, she agreed that it was safe to start back after the first trimester. Naturally, she’s advised me to take it easy, stay hydrated, modify potentially dangerous postures like stomach compressions (which is done so anyway), and just make sure I’m comfortable in the heat more than anything.

Hatha yoga is completely safe during pregnancy (that’s why prenatal yoga exists!); the question with Bikram is the heat. Nevertheless, the room is heated to no more than 105º Fahrenheit, with 40-50% humidity, making it more comfortable than a steamy August day in coastal Alabama! It’s not like a sauna or hot tub (which are off-limits during pregnancy), because a yogi’s internal body temperature rises only a degree or so.

With all those considerations, I’m still not 100% certain whether I will return to Bikram during my pregnancy. The staff are kind, encouraging, and understanding, and they have been trained in the modified pregnancy yoga that Bikram’s wife, Rajashree, developed; if/when I do return, I’m sure they will go over the modifications with me, ensure I have a cool spot near the door, and help keep an eye on me so that I take it easy.

As selfish as it sounds, one of my first thoughts after confirming my pregnancy was that I would have to give up Bikram. To me, this yoga is more than an exercise routine. It’s truly a form of meditation and a spiritual/mental journey. It’s my own form of therapy, no talking required. After months of struggling with low self-esteem and feeling ugly and incapable in my own skin, Bikram helped transform me, albeit slowly, into a stronger, more optimistic, more confident, less anxious, less self-critical, and more caring person. It benefits me, and, as a result, it benefits my relationships.

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I truly believe this yoga has helped prepare me for pregnancy, motherhood, and an entirely new, exciting, and transformational period of my life, and I believe it will continue to do so, even if I take a break indefinitely. Bikram isn’t going anywhere—and it will be there when I’m ready to return.

Questions for moms & moms-to-be:

• If you’re a Bikram yogi, did you (or would you) continue your practice throughout pregnancy?
• If not, what were your main concerns?