I’ve never been a yo-yo dieter, nor have I over-exercised myself to the point of exhaustion. Nevertheless, even with my own lax nutritional and fitness “rules,” I’ve felt guilt.

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I’ve felt guilty when I spent too many hours on the sofa watching a Breaking Bad marathon, or, once again, went an entire week without any real workouts.

I’ve felt guilty when I lectured my parents on their eating habits days before I compulsively consumed handfuls of trail mix while at work.

I know I don’t always make the best decisions, but you know what? I’m human.

Some days I eat the “perfectly” balanced ratio of veggies, fruits, grains, fats, etc. (notice I put quotation marks around the word perfectly because, according to whose standards?) and other days I subsist on cereal, pizza, and other treats.

The thing is, those days—whether they fall twice a week, monthly, or just occasionally—are naturally balanced by days where I do eat a more nutritious diet.

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I think it’s dangerous to follow rules too rigidly and label foods or activities “good” or “bad,” which is why I don’t agree with the concept of “cheat days” or “cheat meals.”

I’d say on the surface, I follow a 80-20 diet, meaning I eat “healthy” 80% of the time and treat myself the other 20%. This isn’t something I do consciously, though. Some days are closer to 90-10, others are closer to 60-40. Around the holidays, they may be even more skewed in the other direction. But it works for me.

By following strict “clean-eating” rules Monday through Friday and allowing yourself to “cheat” on the weekend, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, shame, or resentment if you suddenly join friends for drinks on a Tuesday or always give up a free donut in the office on Friday.

Likewise, you’re setting yourself up for injury, fatigue, or just plain boredom if you rigidly follow an exercise regimen that doesn’t allow for random rest days due to having an “off” day or simply wanting to catch up on sleep!

And then the guilt and self-criticism creep in, leading to feelings of failure, binges and other loss of control, or possibly something even worse—eating and exercise disorders.

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Treat your body well, but don’t deny it the spontaneous indulgence or relaxation. It’s not “cheating” if you take a slice of birthday cake when offered, even if it’s not in your “plan” for the week.

It’s not “cheating” if you decide to skip a run because you just don’t feel like getting sweaty or would rather get lost in a good book.

Our society feeds off the notion that we feel badly about ourselves if we’re not doing X or eating Y. Don’t fall prey to it! Treat your body and mind well—and, by all means, follow a routine or plan if it truly helps you focus—but remember that the best moments are usually spontaneous. And if you’re anything like me, they often include one-too-many margaritas or an extra cupcake.

[linking up for Thinking Out Loud]