Motherhood Unfiltered (+ Revisiting "Mom Guilt")

Let’s chat (or perhaps I’ll chat).

I’ve touched on “mom guilt” before, but an article on Scary Mommy caught my eye this past week and got me thinking more about the concept.

Yep, even beautiful, famous, seemingly put-together women have their messy moments.

All of us moms have been there. Yoga pants worn 24+ hours straight. Hair in a topknot, so full of dry shampoo we’re not quite sure when the last wash and blow-dry occurred. Spit-up stains. And let us not forget leaky boobs (I don’t miss ‘em).

In other words, motherhood is MESSY, and I’m more than grateful to see these real-life snapshots and the acceptance/empowerment/encouragement they provide to the mainstream.

When you’re surviving maternity leave with a “fresh” newborn or tackling the ever-demanding career of SAHM, you’re given some slack. It’s understood that you won’t have hours to devote to your appearance, and nobody gives a damn.

So, what about those times when you are put together?

By mastering the art of under-eye concealer and squeezing your swollen feet into stilettos, are you somehow implying to other moms that you’re better than them?

Are you somehow a less-caring, neglectful mom because you took 15 minutes to put on lipstick and curl your hair?

Or are you selfish for grasping hold of the little moments of your old life—like a pedicure—when the opportunity arises?

It’s my “crazy” talking, but there have been days (weekends, mostly) where I’ve actually felt guilty for taking extra time to fix my hair, put on makeup, and put on a cute dress while my husband (who is an equal stakeholder in this whole parenting gig, mind you) feeds/changes/calms the baby—the baby he adores spending time with.

“Namast’ay in bed.” Ha. A mom can wish, right?

I’m no stranger to sweatpants and lopsided ponytails, but sometimes I need the extra TLC to feel like a functioning member of society. And I—or you—shouldn’t feel guilty about that. A mom’s “uniform” comes in all shapes and sizes.

Truth: the only reason I look put-together and made-up for work is because my husband leaves for daycare/work 30 minutes before I do—so I have that uninterrupted time to primp. Once 5:30 rolls around, though, the messy hair, yoga pants, and stained t-shirt are back on.

So, to my fellow moms: the next time you peel a milk-covered tank top over your head or shake Cheddar Bunny crumbs out of your hair, remember that you’re doing ok. Even celebrities have their “unfiltered” moments. And on those rare occasions where you feel like getting dolled up? That’s perfectly fine, too.

Just make sure you toss the unworn guilt on the closet floor before you take on the world.