By this time of the year, people have either completed their Whole30 or 21-Day Fix or they are abandoning ship after failing to keep their hands out of the cookie jar.
Everywhere I turn, it’s “eat clean” this or “cut out” that.
Sometimes this talk makes me question my eating habits, will power, and willingness to fuel my body in the best way possible, but other times it frustrates me!
Despite my skepticism toward dietary trends, I’ve read some thought-provoking and successful accounts, which is why I’m just going to keep my mouth quiet about diets from this point forward.
Why? Because diets are a lot like parenting.
You see, much like with parenting, we must do what works for our own health and lifestyle.
As long as you’re taking care of yourself and your loved ones, it doesn’t really matter what outsiders think.
Let’s look at the why and how of choosing a particular diet.
Scenario 1: Every time I eat pasta or a piece of baguette, my stomach aches and my brain feels foggy. I think I’ll experiment with a gluten-free diet!
While it may be worth a visit to your physician to run some allergy tests, blood panels, or even an endoscopy/biopsy (for Celiac), there’s nothing wrong with avoiding certain foods if they cause you discomfort.
As long as you don’t start preaching to me how “wheat is the devil” or “gluten is so unhealthy—you shouldn’t eat bread,” it is not my place to comment on your diet. In fact, I will wish you well because you’re (hopefully) healing yourself.
Scenario 2: We have our own garden and raise chickens—so I only eat organic vegetables and free-range eggs.
It must be so rewarding to see the fruits of your labor—and I bet those yolks are so rich and delicious—but I just don’t have the time to garden or the extra cash to spend on organic, free-range, etc. Because it’s important for my family to eat a variety of nutrients, I’m going to buy the best-looking produce and stick to the budget-friendly eggs.
Scenario 3: I’ve been feeling so lethargic lately and have been relying on too many processed foods. I’m going to complete my first Whole30!
Good for you! While I don’t like to demonize foods—it’s pretty well accepted that you should fill your diet with foods as close to their natural state as possible and eat everything else in moderation.
Whole30 can be a fantastic program, and I hope you’re successful. But don’t be surprised if I don’t join you. I eat a (fairly) balanced diet—and since I don’t feel any negative effects from grains, legumes, or dairy, I’m just going to keep eating them, thankyouverymuch.
So how does this relate to parenting? Oh, let me count the ways. Just like with diets, it seems like there is a book or opinion being thrown in your face on everything parenting-related.
Breastfeeding vs. formula. Daycare vs. staying at home. Co-sleeping vs. crying it out in the crib. Baby Led Weaning vs. cereal and purees.
As a relatively new mom, the opinions (and downright judgments) are overwhelming.
I say, as long as your child is safe, fed, clean, and happy—YOU DO YOU! Let’s look at the why of parenting choices.
Scenario 1: Nursing has gone relatively easy for me, so we’re doing extended breastfeeding—no formula. We will not be feeding any jarred foods—only table food and homemade purees!
That is so incredible—and I applaud you! It’s well-known that breastfeeding has many health benefits for mom and baby. As long as you don’t judge me for supplementing when my pumping output was low or buying armfuls of Plum Organics and Gerber when I just didn’t have time to steam sweet potatoes and broccoli, then I respect you.
Scenario 2: I just can’t stand to miss out on all of these moments, so you bet I’m going to stay at home with baby until he’s old enough for pre-school.
I’m really happy that you have that kind of financial security and admire you for your hard work as a SAHM. As long as you don’t look down on me for returning to work, I completely support your decision. In fact, my mother stayed at home with me for most of my childhood, so I know it has many benefits!
Scenario 3: Co-sleeping? Heck no. I just have to have my space, so we put baby in his crib as early as we could.
Oh, man, I totally feel you. In fact, I was lucky enough to have an independent little sleeper for the first 6 months of his life, but when his sleep became an issue, you bet we decided to co-sleep (sometimes) because everybody needs their rest—especially when work starts in 2 hours and baby’s wide awake.
//via//
Hopefully you see my point. We all live very different lifestyles, and we all have unique health concerns. What works for the stay-at-home mom just may not work for the mother who commutes 45 minutes to the job she relies on for her family’s health insurance.
What tastes good to me and makes me feel energized just may not be something you enjoy eating—especially if causes an allergic reaction or blood sugar spike!
From now on, let’s do each other a favor and keep the diet and parenting judgments to ourselves. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to do what’s best for our family and our health.
[linking up for thinking out loud]
- What’s the craziest parenting criticism you’ve ever heard?
- Have you ever had to make changes in your diet for health reasons—and did you ever experience criticism?
- What’s one food you could never give up?
This is accurate! It feels like everyone has an opinion on everything which makes it hard to just go about our business. Not to mention I think a lot of us want some form of validation for the way we do things.
I’ve never had parent criticism, obviously, but I myself have been guilty of being slightly judgey of the way a parent decides do something. But that is so silly, because I have no idea what is like!
I’ve been judged about my food choices before and honestly I’ve tried to become a more adventurous eater to avoid comments, because I don’t like being singled out! I still get comments about how my healthy food combinations are weird, but whatever!
A food I could never give up is probably peanut butter, but the list is kind of long in my mind!
I was really judge before I had Luca – now I realize I was awful. At least I kept my judgments to myself! 🙂
I don’t think I could give up peanut butter either!
Haha i love how you compared them here – i never would have thought of that! Probably because I am not a parent. I’ve never really changed my diet except to cut down on the amount of pasta i would eat every night (it was a LOT haha), and no one critiqued me for it 🙂
Mmmm…pasta. 🙂
I could probably stand to cut back on sugar and nut butter, but like you, I’ve never had to make drastic changes and don’t plan to, God willing.
Amen.
People are always entitled to their opinion but if whatever is working for you is healthy and safe then go for it. Nothing grinds my gears more than people trying to talk about and criticize other’s diets.
You’re so right. Just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean I have to voice it – especially if nobody’s getting hurt!
Love this post- so accurate! People are so nosey and judgmental when it comes to what others eat. As long as I am doing what is healthy and what is best for me that’s all that counts! No way am I giving up carbs… or changing my diet to follow the new trends! Loved that you compared this to parenting too. Another great post 🙂
Carbs are the best – I am not giving them up either! There are a few “trendy” foods I eat but it’s because I genuinely like them.
LOVE this. In the mom world there are so many opinions and I just want everyone to kee them to themselves. I’m a mix of “hippy” as my dad says and a hard ass (which my friend once called me, THANKS.) as a parent and it’s what works for us! I get so annoyed when people post articles and opinions on social media about how X is amazing and Z is going to scar your child for life. As long as your kids are happy, healthy and safe, whatever you’re doing is right, so keep doing it.
I am hippy to a degree, but I’ve eaten my words on a lot of things I said I would or wouldn’t do as a mom! Sometimes baby just needs to eat – even if it’s more sugary than I’d like.
Ha! I’m sure your friend meant that as a compliment 😉
I think this probably true, and I love the verse in Colossians that talks about not letting man judge you in respect of meat or drink, because God leaves it as a matter of liberty. There are so many more basic issues than your way of parenting or your way of eating. 🙂 I’m thankful that God allows for so much liberty! 🙂 It’s easy for me to get dissuaded by other people and other diets, but I have to remember where the real standard is… It’s not easy in a very ‘fluid’ changing society with so many fads. O_O
I’ll have to look up that verse.
It’s easy to think “I should’ve eating (or not eating) that” but then it’s like “nope, I’m just gonna eat what I enjoy.”
There’s nothing that bugs me more than close-minded people who think their way is the only way. You found something that works for you – great! Now excuse me while I do what works for me. I honestly don’t know how everyone all of a sudden becomes an expert when you tell them that you’re trying something new, or that you’re following a certain lifestyle. People need to mind their own business unless someone actually asks them for an opinion.
Yes! It’s ok to do things differently , but when you start acting like an expert who knows what’s best for ME, that’s when I get angry.
Haha…agreed!
Glad you agree!
YES. And yes to the STFU about what you don’t understand or are personally going through. Everyone has what works best for them. Let them do it and own it. Not my most articulate statement, but you know what I mean!
I think you articulated your thoughts just fine. 🙂 Good point about not knowing what somebody is going through personally (which leads to their choices).
I kind of agree with you! I have to try to keep my mouth shut when I see people raving about their new diets. i am not a diet person because I don’t think they work but I will support a friend if that is the way they want to go.
Ooh, I definitely agree that crazy, fad, drink nothing but juice diets do NOT work. Those I would still have trouble keeping my mouth shut about. I mostly meant “diet” like Paleo/vegan/gluten free/etc. As for me, I eat it all! 🙂
This is such an awesome post! I have never thought about parenting and dieting in this way before but it totally makes sense! A crazy parenting trend I’ve heard of is “unschooling” where the kid basically chooses what they want to learn. It is a hippie dippy new age thing, but I’m looking forward to seeing how those kids turn out. I’m glad I don’t have kids to make that decision hahaha
Thanks, Ellie! Yeah, it’s definitely not something I would’ve have thought about before having children. “Unschooling” sounds interesting. I think I’m more in the old school crowd of “yeah, you need to learn the basics first” since that’s how I was raised and turned out ok – at least that ‘s what I’d like to think 😉