A Cup of Catherine

An Open Letter To The Women Who Read Healthy Living Blogs

by

I often have mixed feelings about the healthy living blogging community. I’ve come across some relatable and encouraging posts, I’ve shaken my head in disgust at certain images or quotes on Instagram, and I’ve even read a few blogs where I’ve developed a concern for the author’s health (based only on what I’ve read, of course). It got me thinking about my own health, eating habits, fitness journey, self-perception, and reasons for reading and blogging. But, more importantly, it got me thinking about others—about the prevalence of eating and exercise disorders within this community, the misconception that it’s “normal” to run monthly half marathons and exercise 6-7 times a week, and the assumption that desserts must be transformed into sugar-flour-oil-dairy-EVERYTHING-free replicas of themselves.

In light of it being National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I wanted to write a letter to YOU, the young (and not-so-young) women who read healthy living blogs.


Dear HLB reader,

Hi, how are you? No, really, how do you feel today? Are you anxious? Are you feeling like you’re not good enough, athletic enough, or, God-forbid, skinny enough?

I know you probably won’t believe me when I tell you this (after all, I have a feeling you’re a lot like me: stubborn, occasionally insecure, and held to impossibly high, self-imposed standards) but you are ENOUGH.

You are beautiful. You are witty. You are capable of doing great things. You are unique and here on this planet for a purpose. You are more than your body or the calories you consume or the miles that you run.

an open letter to women who read healthy living blogs

That bikini-clad body builder you follow on Instagram? Yes, her transformation is incredible, but you don’t have to look just like her to be happy.

You don’t know the sacrifices she made to get there. The amount of spray-tan covering her body, the birthday celebrations she missed to avoid going off her diet, or the arguments she had with her significant other because her free time was no longer shared.

And what about that new mother—the one who has it all. The smiling and cooing should-be-a-Gerber-baby, the spotless home, the effortlessly flat postpartum tummy, and the endless time to work out, make flashy Pinterest creations, and fly across the country at the drop of the hat?

Now, I know we all have different experiences—and I can’t put myself in this woman’s place—but I guarantee her days are not always perfect.

Motherhood can be a lonely place. Postpartum depression (or anxiety) creeps in when you least expect it. Leaving your baby with a new caretaker and returning to work—or stepping away from your dream career to stay at home for the first time—is demanding and can deplete you of your identity.

Buying new, larger clothes can cut deeply when you’re still figuring out how to take on your new role and embrace your various curves, scars, and battle wounds.

And let’s not forget the food blogger with the immaculately plated food.

Her talent is abundant, but are her creations truly driven by passion or by a dangerous obsession of preparing decadent foods she’ll never actually eat?

You may envy the quality of her What I Ate Wednesday photos—but what you don’t know just how intensely food rules her life.

open letter to the women who read healthy living blogs

These are hypothetical examples, but I want you to know this: social media is only a window into a person’s life. It is a highlight reel, doctored up with filters and enhancements, which is why you should never fall into the comparison trap.

You don’t need to emulate these women to be happy!

But maybe this isn’t you at all—maybe you find inspiration and encouragement from the women on your feed.

I know I am often inspired by some of the stories I’ve read. Accounts of pushing just a little harder to reach a goal, overcoming disordered behavior or addiction, landing a dream job, or just making somebody laugh!

So, various women who read healthy living blogs, I ask you: why are you here? Are you seeking community or are you discouraged and trapped in an unhealthy place?

In light of it being NEDAwareness Week, I'm sharing an open letter to the women who read healthy living blogs.

If certain blogs or accounts are triggering to you—and if you find that you’re eating far too little, exercising far too much, or isolating yourself from your family and friends, then maybe you’re here for the wrong reasons.

Enough with the “fitspo” and the calorie counting and the comparison. You are special, and your life is much more than a screenshot. If this place makes you struggle, doubt your abilities, or fall into bad habits, please reach out to somebody and take care of yourself.

All the best to you… <3

No questions today—just your thoughts.

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Oh my, this was absolutely beautiful to read. Since being recovered and now looking at the “fitspo” pages that I used to base my whole life around.. it all just seems so silly. I don’t understand how I allowed myself to be influenced by such a negative trend. Thank you for writing this, and I hope it hits others the way it has me <3

      • Thank you so much – I’m grateful it resonated with you. I’ve seen lately a huge trend away from “fitspo” – at least the negative kind – by other bloggers and it’s refreshing. All the best in your continued recovery!

    2. This. There are definitely blogs that I just stopped reading because I don’t like the way they make me feel. A blogger I used to be fond of announced she’s cutting back on sugar on top of the super restrictive diet she already has! It’s things like that that frustrate me to no end. And then people who eat as much as I do but run 10+ miles every other day. I just don’t get it.
      I’m sticking with my positive, uplifting reads.And those that are open about their struggles and working towards a better life. Those are inspirational.
      Thank you for a beautiful post!

      • Thanks, Kate. I’ve quit reading and following a few, too. I’ve even seen some really respectable bloggers make decisions that seemed to have come out of nowhere – although, who am I to judge? I actually came across a really old article about some of the early HLBs that *alleged* they were this clan of unhealthy, restrictive women. While I certainly don’t think that’s the case (the article was unfair), it did make me think about some things we just accept as “normal” and inspired me to write this. Thanks for your kind words!

    3. A wonderful post, and I’m so glad it’s the first one I read from your blog (found it through BGB!) because I will definitely be a regular reader from now on 🙂 After years of struggling with food, I’ve found my happy place with eating and running and relationships and life *fingers crossed* and I’m not about to let the blog world make me feel guilty for standing in front of the fridge spooning peanut butter out of the jar!

      • Thank you for clicking over (I’m loving the BGB community!). I’m so glad you’re at a happy place with food/running. I think a lot of bloggers (at least the ones I read and myself) would stand there with their peanut butter spoons right along with you! 😉

    4. This. All day. Wow, Catherine, I LOOOOOVE your thoughts on this. I feel like such a mix of this all the time. On one hand, I have been extremely unhappy with myself because of those people that seem to have it all. And now that I am making choices to be healthier, I worry people are viewing me like I once viewed “those people.” My post today is a great example of how that’s just one VERY small glimpse into my life. I am making progress, but just because I have time to go to the gym and workout does not mean that I am perfect or even happy with my body most days.

      I have definitely started to make the choice to post real and relate-able content over those perfectly polished lies that social media wants us to believe in. I try to hold true to my believe that I believe in the imperfect and embracing it all, not just the perfect or what will get me more followers.

      • Thanks, Melissa! I have mixed feelings, too. This was on my mind a while because sometimes I feel – even though I’m “heathier” and more active than a vast majority of my peers – that I’m the lazy blogger. I think it’s good to share fitness journeys and progress (like you’re doing!), but sometimes we (I) need to sit back and realize “ok, maybe it’s not a huge deal if I workout only twice a week.”

        I’ve been enjoying your content lately. I don’t think you make your life as a SAHM sound too rosy or polished – nor does it sound the opposite either. I think you’ve got a good balance of real life vs other stuff.

        • Aw, thank you so much! I think there will always be seasons of wanting to be healthier than others. Some seasons just don’t allow the time for such a huge focus on health, you know? And that’s okay!

    5. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU for posting this!! This healthy living blogging community is both a blessing and a curse. Nobody has their sh!& together all the time. We are just trying our best every day and that is enough. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      • Thank you so much. I’ve learned a lot about myself and grown as a result of my blogging, but you’re right – it can be both a blessing and a curse. Yep – none of us are perfect, that’s for darn sure.

    6. Wow this is an amazing post… thank you SO much for this. So so right- the healthy living blogging community can be so good but also so bad. Thank you for sharing Catherine <3

    7. This post is absolutely beautiful. Yes, writing posts or uploading images about healthy living is great, but we have to realize what we see online is never the whole story. We can’t be perfectly healthy all the time… and it brings into question “WHAT IS HEALTHY ANYWAY?” Health is not a flat definition. It’s individual, dynamic. Our online communities should celebrate these differences, rather than getting us to conform to a single definition. Again, beautiful, beautiful words I needed to read today.

      • Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I definitely agree there are SO MANY different definitions of health. It is dynamic – that’s a great way of putting it because healthy at 12 vs healthy at 24 vs 65 is different! It’s exhausting trying to be perfect.

    8. This was so brave and honest and well written. And this is why I follow the blogs I do. I think it all comes down to our own choices and mindset as to what blogs we follow. When my eating disorder was very prevalent, I think I probably did follow blogs that – as I would see now – did not promote a real, nor healthy, mindset. However, that was my choice. Now, of course, I get so turned off by anything of that nature and have discovered the opposite side of the blog world – the side filled with such amazing, beautiful, REAL women who are here only to support each other and be themselves. Now that I have a blog of my own I am constantly flabbergasted by the support network I am now involved in. There are many dangers out there, but there is also so much good that can come from this online world.

      • Thank you so much. Being honest, I was a little scared posting it because I feared people might think I was pointing fingers or trying to lay blame. I’m glad my message came across as I’d intended!
        Yeah, when I first started reading, some of the blogs I followed were not the “healthiest” and I’ve since stopped reading. It really is amazing the support network we have. I’ve learned by reaching out to more smaller blogs (like myself) instead of trying to get on the big blogs’ radars that there’s an incredible community and some really talented, creative, and kind people.
        Thanks so much for reading.

    10. I absolutely love this post. Such an important topic that I think gets overlooked. From the outside people always assume that “healthier is better,” but you can’t tell what’s going on mentally and emotionally. We all need to find our “why” for reading HLB and participating in the health and fitness community.

      • Thanks, Emily. You’re right that it’s easy to assume – looking from the outside – that something or someone is healthy. Sadly I think my original “why” was to fit in and because it was what I’m “supposed to do” but now I genuinely enjoy fitness and other aspects of the community.

    11. I’ve had to take a lot of blogs out of my reader because they were harming my ED recovery. I used to lust after reading all of these blogs, wishing I had their lives. Little did I know how easy it was to falsify what you put out there. Now, I’m very mindful of what I bring into my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this.

      • I think it’s wonderful you realized which blogs were harming vs helping you in your recovery – it’s hard sometimes to recognize if something is doing more harm than good. I know when I first started blogging (as a much needed outlet), I had a hard time distinguishing the “highlight reels” from real life.

    12. I feel the same way about YouTubers! I do not have a channel, but watch the Tube over breakfast because I don’t have TV. Most times I love it, but sometimes I wish I could make videos and be awesome at it. For a whole five minutes I consider doing it until I realize that’s not my thing and I’m happy the way I am (even though I run, I love weight lifting youtube vids lol). I’ve also had to go though my Instagram feed and unfollow people who I don’t know why, but either make me mad or jealous for some reason. I don’t think these people do anything intentionally, but since it gives me this reaction, I just need to not look at it.
      I love this post!

      • You hit the nail on the head. If a feed or blog makes me jealous *most* of the time, its obviously not in my best interest to follow! I think we owe it to ourselves to surround ourselves with positivity.

    13. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is SO true. Knowing what triggers you is so important. If it’s a stumbling block to me I have to say that I can’t look at it, because I know where I’m still weak. I am so thankful that God has protected me from so many of those triggers especially in the past year of FULL recovery, and I’m so glad that you shared this.

    14. Thank you so much for writing this post. The ‘healthy living’ blogging community can be a wonderful and encouraging place. However, as someone who is recovering from anorexia I can whole-heartedly agree that the level of comparison that can take place is downright dangerous. Our ability to edit out the imperfections in our lives can be frightening and, as you say, no one really knows what is going on just out of the frame of those perfect photos or after the writing stops.

      • Thank you for reading and for your comment.
        It really is easy to “forget” that we may not be seeing the full picture. I have to remind myself of that sometimes on those days where it’s easy to get sucked into the comparison trap and feel like I’m not measuring up.