This past weekend my husband and I cleaned out our closets. I pulled out nearly every piece of clothing I owned and tried them on, tossing pieces into “keep,” “donate,” “trash,” and “consign” piles.
It felt fantastic to de-clutter—especially when I took Marie Kondo’s advice to heart and asked myself “do I really love this?” and sent my old clothes off with an imagined “thank you” for keeping me warm (or cool) and comfortable.
And yet, if I’m being completely honest, getting rid of a few of my favorite dresses, skirts, shorts, and tops was a little unsettling.
Even though I am the same general weight and size as I was pre-baby, my body has definitely changed. Dresses that used to be flattering cling a little too tightly around my hips and midsection, and strategically sized-up bathing suit tops are much too big now. And let’s not even get started on the armpit fat.
For the most part, I’m confident with my body. I don’t spend hours critiquing my shape. I am noticeably stronger now that I’m back in the gym, and I found a flattering swimsuit on Sunday that doesn’t require constant tugging and fear of exposure.
Most importantly, I’m still amazed at how my body enabled me to nurture a pregnancy, give birth, and feed my child for such a long time.
In honor of those feelings and changes, I’m writing an ode to my “mom bod”—and all of its imperfections.
To the fine lines on my face…thank you for all of the laughter and smiles my giggly and sweet Bazooka continues to provide
To my soft love handles…thank you for supporting the weight of my growing belly and allowing me to carry a healthy baby to term
To the new gray hairs (that seem to sprout every day!) on my head…thank you for the gift of aging and experiencing every milestone that’s been reached so far
To my slightly uneven biceps…thank you for the strength to lift and carry my child when he needs consoling (or is just being clingy)
To my stiff shoulders…thank you for the many quiet hours of nursing and rocking my lavender-scented angel to sleep during the night
To my smaller chest…thank you for creating the byproduct of delicious, calorie-rich foods, which provided nourishment to my child for almost 15 months of his life
To my wider hips…thank you for the ability to have the labor and birth that I’d envisioned (even though there were a few hiccups along the way)
To my tired feet…thank you for carrying me on this exciting journey so far
Mom bodies come in all shapes in sizes. Some have stretch marks and a bit of extra padding, and some may be more toned and trim than they were before.
Even if your favorite dress is a little too snug or your tops are too loose, you still have a body worth celebrating. Please don’t let society and its “postpartum bootcamps” or “Transformation Tuesdays” make you feel inferior. Your body is better each day that passes thanks to the moments you’ve lived and the experiences you’ve accumulated.
[linking up for thinking out loud]
- Even if you’ve never given birth—have you ever dealt with a physical change (perhaps due to injury or illness) that was difficult?
- Do you have a piece of clothing that you just can’t seem to part with? Me, I have a pair of ballet flats that I bought in London when I studied abroad in 2005. They’re falling apart, but I just can’t trash them!
Thank you. Thank you for this. I am so thankful for every mom that serves and loves her children with such deep love and doesn’t place all her worth on trying to fit some certain ‘body mold.’ Our bodies are such amazing creations, and I’m thankful that you really highlighted this in such a beautiful way in this post. 🙂
Thank you so much, Emily. It’s hard sometimes just because of human nature, but there really is something that changes with the body/mind after having a child. Of course I think all women – young or old, mothers or not – can learn to appreciate their bodies, too.
This is a wonderful post. I honestly think that having a baby makes women so beautiful. It’s that pregnancy glow that never goes away. Some ladies you can just tell are moms and I am so enamored with that. I think I’ve gone through the phase of being a college student to now a young adult. I don’t feel appropriate wearing hoodies outside of my house or yoga pants (most days) because I think because of my experience and age, it’s inappropriate. That was hard to adjust to because it means I’m never going back to the college phase. Finally I got rid of a lot of comfort “studying/lounging” clothing and it felt refreshing, another indication I have grown up.
Thank you, Ellie. I was the same way with hoodies and crappy tshirts when I graduated – can’t wear those everyday anymore, bummer. 😉
I think there’s something to the pregnancy glow and the joy (mixed with exhaustion and fear) of new moms.
So so needed. I actually just did the same thing last night in prep for moving. I did the Marie Kondo thing a few months ago but knew there was more to get rid of. I tried on a dress and was like this does NOT fit the same! What the heck. It just clung weirdly to me like it hadn’t before.
I also couldn’t bear to get rid of actual ballet shoes from college that I’ll most likely never use again except if I do a barre workout at home (which is never lol). But I just want to keep them!
It’s weird but despite the changes, I like my body better now after a baby than before. I don’t really know, but somehow all the change has made me realize that there’s nothing “wrong” with my body but that it’s something to be celebrated.
Thanks, Melissa! If I were in your shoes, I would throw out (or donate/sell) so much!
Funny you mentioned ballet shoes because I still have a (basically new) set of tap shoes from when I was a child in case I ever have a girl who dances. And I still have a sack full of old gymnastics leotards that I can’t part with. Crazy 🙂
Each time that I brought out the pre-pregnancy clothes and put away the maternity clothes I would force myself to toss/donate all the clothes that were either worn or I never wore. It amazed me both times how much stuff I got rid of. It was very freeing.
The time I hated most was the few month transition between the maternity and normal clothes. Even after I had lost “the weight”, it took my hips at least 6 months to go back to at least close to what they were before. And there are the nursing boobs. At least 2 cup sizes bigger for a year… (not that I’m complaining. lol!) But all worth the 2 beautiful girls I have!
That’s a good plan to have and I wish I’d done it sooner after I got out of maternity clothes. Would’ve saved some frustration.
Those first few months are weird. I remember wearing leggings and tanks during leave and when I went back to work it was all loose button downs for both aesthetics and ease of pumping. I don’t miss that but I do miss the nursing boobs (somewhat).
Such a great post, and I can totally relate! I too did the Kondo purging and it felt great but it was also a little depressing seeing what it left me with…truthfully though, I could have gotten rid of even more if not for the fact that I still need to get dressed in the morning lol! The body changes after having a baby are tough! It’s like I have to relearn how to shop and dress for myself.
LOL, I was the same. I feel like I still held on to a few “just ok” things simply because I didn’t want to wear the same two outfits to work everyday. I know what you mean – my “style” (if you can call it that) has changed drastically. A lot less form fitting!
Ohh, I love this, and I can totally use this right now 5 weeks post partum. I’m at that point where I no longer look like i just had a baby, but I can feel it everywhere. It’s hard to feel appreciative when your own body feels foreign, but I have to remember I legit birthed a child a month ago and I’m feeding him multiple times a day. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks, Morgan. I totally remember that in between stage about a month or two PP. You have a lot to be proud of and you’re right – don’t forget that you just gave birth a month ago! It’s such a huge recovery, even when you look “basically normal.”
I’ve never had a baby, but I can definitely relate to dealing with physical changes (seriously, is it just part of getting older!?!). A lot of my clothes don’t fit the way they used to, and my body has definitely changed shape. Not necessarily in a bad way (??), but it still takes some getting used to for sure. I experienced a whole lot of body weirdness when I was recovering from my eating disorder and my hormones were trying to sort themselves out, and as a result I became all sorts of shapes 😆 But whatever, weight and shape is something that fluctuates so much that it’s not worth stressing over.
I think it is age. Back a few years ago it hit me kind of hard when I realized “oh, hey – I’m not a shapeless teenager anymore.” And this was in my late 20s, lol.
I can imagine feelings would be similar in ED recovery, especially when you’re still learning to quiet those “voices” that tell you otherwise.
Weight truly isn’t worth stressing over!
This is amazing! I really hope that other mothers will read this and see themselves in it. There have been many times when I felt the changes and didn’t embrace them. I feel differently now. Our bodies are incredibly resilient!
Thank you, Kate. I’ve been the same way – I guess we think differently and regard our bodies with more respect as we get older.
Yep love love love love this. My body has changed, but so has my heart (for the better) 🙂 I wouldn’t trade any of it for the curly-haired tot I have now!!!
Aww, sometimes I wish my guy had curls. He has a couple when it’s humid, lol, but I love him the way he is. Thanks so much for reading!
I think it’s wonderful that you’re paying homage to the beauty that is carrying a child and the blessing it’s been for you and your body. Sending to my mama 🙂
Thank you, Cayenne. I hope your mom enjoys it and I appreciate the kind words and share. 🙂