So, this week has been interesting.
Nothing has happened to me personally, but at the risk of some major vague-blogging (sorry!), let’s just say that the worlds of several people I know and encounter daily were rocked. And not in a good way.
In fact, I’m still crazy nervous as I type this up. Thinking Out Loud Thursday is my favorite day of blogging, so the writer in me (aka—the inarticulate speaker who has to get her emotions out somehow) decided that I would just throw out any preplanned topics (ok, I didn’t actually have any) and just…write.
Having a blog is incredibly therapeutic, but it comes with some disadvantages, too. Namely, privacy. If the world weren’t full of psychopaths and some personal things were OK to divulge to random internet strangers (and have permanently etched into the web), I would be a completely open book here.
In fact, my favorite part of blogging is the community. I love how we—random “internet friends” from across the country (and world, in some cases!) can relate to one another and share things that we sometimes keep from our IRL friends and family (IRL = “in real life” if you’re an old person like me).
If I could, I’d probably bore you with photos of my “omg—he’s so adorable” toddler. I’d talk about the stories I hear from my husband’s work day (where I thank my lucky stars that I’m not in his field), and I’d probably do a good bit of complaining and mouthing off, too.
But if I were to do those things, there could be a lot of repercussions. I care too much about my family’s safety, for example, to continue showing identifying photos of Bazooka Boy on the blog. And I respect how he will feel in the future, when he understands the meaning of privacy.
And I choose to keep details about my employment (no worries—I’m not a secret agent or anything!) under wraps because I want to gain exposure on my blog and would hate to have said something negative that my current or future employer could see.
And, as you can imagine, I’d never share identifying details about my home, vehicle, etc.
Anyway, I’m sure you guys see where I’m coming from, but it makes me wonder, “how do we decide what to share?”
Is there some magic formula?
I’ve often felt most proud of—and gained the most positive reaction/engagement—from posts I was a bit nervous to post. Posts on confidence. On how I view the healthy living community. On parenting.
Things that I share with my closest friends—sometimes—but things that I would normally shy away from sharing with acquaintances for fear of being judged.
And, as a reader, I enjoy bloggers who are open about their feelings. Bloggers who share the bad along with the good. Who share their personal stories and triumphs, but more importantly, their struggles.
In a world where fear seems to be a growing emotion and where differences are often shunned and persecuted instead of celebrated and understood, we need that relatability.
Blogging has a lot of negatives. There are internet trolls, folks who steal other people’s work (photos, recipes, etc.), and those who tear each other down.
But, thankfully, blogging has a lot of positives, too. Communities where people jump at the chance to give advice. Bloggers who reach out to help you with a project that will benefit the both of you. And, certainly not least, genuine friendships and encouragement.
So, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, so I’m just going to say I’m grateful to have found blogging. I’m excited to make my blog better, and I’m overjoyed when you guys comment or share something I poured my hear into.
So, thanks. Thanks for reading and for sharing your stories with me, too.
So tell me…
- If you’re a blogger, where do you draw the line regarding privacy?
- How do you react to negative comments (whether you blog or not)?
ooops I just realized something.. you know what, if you check on my blog, the title itself is my son’s name. and I even posted his pic on the ABOUT ME page.. do you think it’s wrong or what? I’m kinda feeling guilty now.
Ah, I think you have to decide for yourself. I shared lots of pics until my son turned one and then I decided (after discussing with my husband) to back off. It’s def a personal thing! But you shouldn’t feel bad.
regarding your question, i just accept negative comments most especially when they are constructive ones.
Yes, constructive criticism can be so helpful!
Such an important topic! I’m always weary about sharing my location or giving too much personal information. I haven’t even shared my last name! Sharing too much info kind of really freaks me out because the internet is such an open place. Either way, I love blogging and have never looked back 🙂
I generally don’t share my last name either…until I realized that my old Instagram was my first/second initial with my last name…oops! 😉
I usually stop if I think someone could get hurt or upset. It’s honestly not worth it to me to be directly mean to someone. Yesterday I was reminded of over sharing in Snapchat. I went to my parents house to grab a couple things and took a few snapchats of my brother and sisters hunting “stuff” and sent them to my vegan friends and story just as an example of how different the life I live is than theirs.
It was thoughtless because my sister got really mad and then my mom got mad and said I was exploiting them. They are still mad. I apologized for being thoughtless and sharing their “private” which was important, but I won’t apologize for what I believe in. Honestly, inside my mind I keep thinking “if your embarrassed for this then obviously you know killing animals is wrong.” But I’m keeping that to myself.
What is important is that I apologized and now will be more cognizant of what I post on snapchat, even if I believe my feelings are valid.
I could see how your sister might’ve gotten mad – even though it wasn’t a huge thing. Along the same lines, my husband was actually a little upset that I mentioned – without asking him first – that we had a little argument in my post last Friday. Mostly because our family started asking “what happened?” Lesson learned… 😉
I resonate with this post so much, because we want to love and protect our families, while not being dishonest. Catherine, I think you strike such a wonderful balance, because when you post about the issues that you are grappling with, I’m saying to myself, ‘WAIT? She struggles with these things too?’ And it’s such a blessing to me. Don’t share any more than you are comfortable in sharing. <3
Thanks Emily – I’m glad my blog comes across that way. I hate being dishonest, too, but some things you just can’t share. I think you have a great balance, too.
I definitely make it a point to avoid sharing too much personal information on the blog. I don’t mind sharing struggles and things I’m dealing with, but nothing about my location, car, hang outs, or people in my life. It’s a sad thing that there are so many twisted people out there, but it is what it is. And when it comes to negativity, I just remind myself that what people say and how they react is more about them than it is about me.
Your last line <—- so true! That's why you can't take negativity personally.
I think you have a great balance too – a little mystery but you also don't hide when you're struggling (or having a good day).
Definitely something I struggle with too. I LOVE being open and vulnerable, but sometimes I question if I am sharing too much. Finding that happy medium can be hard with blogging for sure.
Your vulnerability and unapologetic efforts to share some of the bad with the good are big reasons why I enjoy your blog! I think you strike a good balance.
I think it’s really tough deciding what to share or not! I am a pretty open person so I guess I probably am too open at times – though I’d never give out our address (we’ve only once featured the front of our house as we showed our christmas lights) or something that didn’t belong on the blog/wasn’t mine to share. I am really careful with our friends too. I don’t write a lot about them as I know they are wary of being shared on a blog that’s read by so many people and I respect that!
Oh all of this SO MUCH. I have struggled with this since day one of blogging and four years later, sometimes it’s not much easier. I just started writing a post on reflecting on my birth a year later and I’m not sure if it’s oversharing. But on the other hand, I know many moms who would probably love the post and have a great conversation about it. It’s hard to decide what’s too much.
I personally never share my specific town, when I leave for vacation/go to certain places, I don’t tag myself at locations I frequent often, pretty common sense stuff. I used to be really concerned about my last name but when my new blog name wasn’t available/was too long for Instagram I was like forget it. I don’t have anything else to use!
I always get hard on myself about not being able to share the full story since I don’t do vague blogging either. There are huge parts of my life that are just not on my blog for security and personal reasons and I think that’s 100% okay.
Such a great topic – and something I think about a lot. This is where doing weekend recaps get tricky too. Or even when I do fitness class reviews – that narrows down my city pretty quick. I’ve definitely stopped blogging as much about my son, but that’s just because I don’t want the whole blog to be just about him. I also struggle with the notion of “well, if people want to find, they are going to find regardless of my blog”. I know that’s a crappy, naive way of thinking, but I do believe it too.
Yeah – funny you mention that about narrowing down your city because I just realized I’m pretty open about my town because of all the restaurant reviews I share. But it’s not like I’m all “hey, come see me at 123 street name” or whatever.
I miss sharing so much about my son! I guess my biggest thing is I don’t want. To regret sharing too much or infringing. In his privacy once he’s old enough to know he’s on a public blog. But we all do what’s best for us, right?!
I don’t share my daughter’s name on the blog, and I always watermark photos of her across her face. I’ve heard of people getting their photos stolen and used for other things, so I like the watermarking idea. She’s almost 1, and I think after that I will stop sharing so much about what she does. I know people can do what they want, but I just don’t understand why people put pictures on their blogs showing their babies’ butts!