Don’t hate me, but I’ve always been one of those enviable (to some, not to all) people whose weight has mostly stayed the same since I was a teenager.
Sure, my weight has fluctuated 10 or so pounds over the years (it still does), and then there was that time I gained close to a third of my body weight when I was pregnant with sweet Bazooka, but mostly, I’ve been little ol’ me since I was in high school.
In some respects, that’s wonderful.
Dresses I wore in college still fit.
I never felt the need to lose a ton of weight when I got married.
I generally eat what I want, when I want it.
But on the other hand, it’s been frustrating.
Clothing brands that used to fit have changed their sizing, often leaving me empty-handed when I leave the fitting room.
I feel less womanly, since, you know, “real women have curves” and all that BS.
Real women come in all shapes & sizes #bodyimage #confidence Share on XBut, thankfully, I’ve reached a point where my size and my weight are just…my size and my weight.
Like many women, I’ve struggled with body image. I’ve felt the need to restrict what I eat, and I’ve exercised because I had to instead of for the enjoyment of it.
But now that I’m a mother (and have already snagged my sexy husband ;-)), I just don’t care that much about how my body looks.
Sure, I take care of it. I look for clothing that fits well and flatters my shape, but I don’t obsess over whether my thighs touch or if when the skin on my not-quite-flat stomach gets all doughy and mushy when I bend over.
You could say I’ve reached my happy weight—without any fad diets, extreme workouts, or restrictive habits.
That’s because “happy weight” is mental. It’s all about how you feel in your body.
No, it doesn’t mean you’re 100% confident in a bikini or that you never have a “fat day.”
Your happy weight is when you reach a point where you realize your body is just a shell for the whole of you: your dazzling mind, your corny jokes, your ability to make strangers feel comfortable.
Your happy weight isn't just PHYSICAL... #TOL #bodyimage Share on XIt’s when you graciously accept a compliment instead of reacting with self-deprecation.
Your happy weight is when you say “oh screw it” and throw out your old “skinny” jeans and spend $80 on an ass-hugging new pair of jeans that suit your body type.
It’s when you laugh at your toddler when he lifts up your shirt and plays with your belly fat.
Your happy weight is wearing a bikini…or a one-piece…or, hell, a burkini…with confidence and no apologies.
It’s when you eat good food and drink good wine with abandon and wake up the next day with gratitude and good memories instead of feelings of guilt and the compulsion to exercise those calories (and experiences) away.
Let go of #guilt and LOVE your body... #bodyimage #selfcare Share on XYour happy weight is when you realize your body is a gift to enable you to enjoy the beautiful things in life.
No matter how far the scale inches up or down, I want to stay at my happy weight. Don’t you?
[linking up for thinking out loud]
So tell me…
- What does “healthy weight” mean to you?
- Have you ever struggled with body image or weight gain/loss?
Yes, I love that you said, ‘Happy weight is mental’ because it’s so true. One of the biggest steps for me was not getting on the scale any more. That really enabled me to be intuitive to the signals that my body has instead of focusing on the numbers. I definitely have struggled with body image, and I’m so thankful that God’s grace has brought me through dark valleys and huge struggles.
Thanks, Emily. Getting rid of the scale is HUGE… I find it easier to just “be” when there are no numbers to worry about.
I go through phases where I think my body has found its happy weight, and then it changes, largely beyond my control. But I totally understand what you mean!
Yeah, I imagine it’s even tougher having a chronic health condition – because sometimes your body just can’t “decide” where it wants to be. But it’s definitely mental!
My happy weight has changed over the years. I was overweight (and in denial) most of my life and I wasn’t ‘happy’ about it, but I was accepting of it – I was always told I was just curvy or big boned, and I assumed it was just how I was. I lost weight unintentionally when I met my husband which was a turning point for me, but I took it a little too far and never was ‘happy’. Then I got pregnant which i think saved me from it becoming a true problem. Being pregnant twice in 2 years is definitely a big wake up call on body image. Now I’m not where I would call my ideal weight, but I’m happy and comfortable where I am. I’m nursing still, so for me my body right now is more than just looks or living or even my own body ahha
Pregnancy was SUCH an amazing healing experience for my body image issues. And, yes, when you’re nursing, it’s all about nourishing that baby!
It’s so hard to let go of the ideal physical imagine of yourself. I still struggle with that after losing 80 pounds. I feel like I will never be perfect enough.
I get it – even as I write this I have those moments where I think “but I could improve this…” or ” I’ll never be perfect.”
Good lord I LOVE this post!!! I think body acceptance and self-love is the first step to finding health both mentally and physically. All of our bodies will never look the same and that’s what makes us beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂
Thanks, Emily! I agree that it’s impossible to find true health – mental and physical – without loving ourselves. I think the best thing we can do is realize that we change – physically, emotionally, spiritually, you name it – and embrace it.
This is such an awesome post. I want to tweet every single one of those thingys because they are so true!
My happy weight is bigger than I was expecting but I’m learning to love and appreciate my body the way it is right now.
Thanks, Megan. So glad you’re on the road to body acceptance and appreciating it!
I’ve definitely struggled with body image to the point where I battled an eating disorder for a good handful of years. And the most ironic thing is that the thinner I became, the unhappier I became. I feel like there’s this idea going around that being thinner automatically means being happier, when that’s definitely not the case. I may be a few sizes bigger now, but there’s no way I want to ever go back to a time where my life revolved around food and exercise. Where I was afraid to eat foods I love. Where I was tired and weak all the time because I didn’t give my body what it needed to function… especially because even at my smallest, I -still- wasn’t happy with how I looked. If you would have told me back then that I’d be happy at a normal, healthy weight, I would have laughed… but here I am in a pretty darn good place.
I think so many people experience the same. Putting so much effort into being smaller and fitter but not realizing until much later that they’re tearing away at their happiness. I’m glad you’re in a much better place now, Amanda.
I’ve struggled with my body image ever since I can remember – small chest, round butt – not a bad thing now but when I was a teenager and big chests and small butts were a thing, I was definitely made fun of. Add to that braces, a bad hair cut, and unbelievable shyness, it’s no wonder boys weren’t beating down my door. Well, I grew up, got married, had kids, and then my kids had kids, and I still have a small chest and a round butt and still struggle occasionally with my body image. But, definitely not as much as I used to. Thank goodness. Haha! But, I’m sure that’s because I try to stay fit and active and work out regularly. I know I’m at my healthy weight – the one where I can go hiking with my hubby, play with my grandkids, go for walks, carry grocery sacks, etc without feeling like I’m dying. I might break every now and then (darn that osteoporosis for running in my family!!!) but working out and weight training is good for that too. Just gotta keep moving!
Oh no, I definitely went through that awkward stage, too. Go figure it was later in life that I really began to feel self-conscious and inferior to others. YES – a healthy weight is one where you can do all the things you’ve listed! I’m so grateful to realize that my body allows me to do the things I enjoy and shouldn’t be punished for not being “perfect”
Yes, yes, yes! “Happy weight” is when my body is healthy enough to engage in my favorite daily activities, when I can enjoy night snacks and when I can smile in the mirror. Even better, it’s when I’m not thinking about my weight at all.
You hit the nail on the head – “not thinking about my weight at all.”
Oh, and I’m glad I’m not the only one to smile in the mirror sometimes. 🙂
can I like this like 50000 times?? what an amazing post. This really spoke to me… I love that you said happy weight is MENTAL. I agree with you so so much on that. Love this!!
Thanks, Alyssa. It took me long enough to realize it, but I definitely think happy weight is mental.
This is phenomenal or shall I say..dazzling! (Totally loving your use of ‘dazzling mind’) I totally relate to the laughing when your toddler jokes about your belly fat, because I used to be so triggered when anyone or anything drew attention to mine, but now I smile along and find it hard to remember there once was a time I cared!
Thanks, Cayenne! I think realizing that even the fittest, most toned women STILL have belly rolls when they bend over helped me realize it’s pointless to think I can have a perfectly flat tummy. Plus, I look at my son and realize that he wouldn’t be here without that little bit of pudge. Totally worth it!
This is positively beautiful. Thank you. I love the notion of your “healthy weight” as being MENTAL. Yes.
Thanks so much, Cora. It took some time, for sure, but I’ve learned that it’s all about mindset.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I love your perspective on health and a happy weight. I am in recovery from anorexia, and in the weight gain process, so this is post served as a great reminder.
While I have never struggled with an ED, I can imagine how difficult it must be to realize you NEED to gain weight and take care of yourself but FEARING just that. Hang in there, Sarah! You’ll make it through. <3
Nice-post Catherine! I enjoyed reading your blog. I agreed that “happy weight” is mental and It’s all about how you feel in your body. Yes, I have also struggled with body image to achieve my happy weight. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Cindy! So many women have struggled with body image – I hope you continue to stay at your mentally happy weight! 🙂