Year after year, I give in to peer pressure by writing out the customary New Year’s resolution post.
But you know what?
I’m not really a big New Year’s resolution person.
Yes, I like to create periodic goals for myself, but I sort of eschew the expectation of setting pie-in-the-sky resolutions one month only to break (or simply forget about) them a few months later.
So, this year, I’m saying no.
Rather than tell you that I plan to eat healthy, go to the gym x times a week, and save x amount of money each month, I’ve put together a list of things I will NOT do this year. A list of “anti-goals,” if you will.
I’ve learned a lot about myself and my strengths/weaknesses this year, but there are still some things I need to work on.
What I Won’t Do in 2017 (A Different New Year’s Resolution Post)
I will not mindlessly complain about situations without making an effort to fix them
Nobody likes a Negative Nancy, myself included. Venting—with the goal to make changes—is healthy, but complaining with no objective or plan to make improvements is a waste of everybody’s time.
I will not allow myself to feel guilty for practicing self-care
I’ve written all about mommy guilt, and while I realize deep inside that self-care is NOT selfish, I still find myself battling the guilt that comes with a scheduled massage or an hour at the gym. But, I am a better mother and wife when I make time for these things, so I must move past the guilt.
I will not let fear prevent me from standing up for myself
This year was the first year I pushed fear aside and stood up for myself (in the work realm, at least). And, you know what? While I don’t feel comfortable discussing details about my job on here (you’ll respect my privacy, right?), let’s just say that my superiors actually listened to me and my “worst fears” were all in my head. So, yeah, I’m going to make standing up for myself a habit.
I will not miss out on family time because of blog “work”
I’m a perfectionist, and once I start something, I go all in until it’s finished. But…when it comes to blogging—my hobby and not my job—I need to learn to relax and allow projects to go unfinished or later than scheduled. I do not want Bazooka’s early memories to be of his parents, nose-deep in a computer or iPad!
I will not deny myself a simple pleasure just because it’s “impractical”
Every time I think “I’m going to try out a new hairstyle” or I want to treat myself to a mani-pedi, I convince myself that I really don’t need it and can better spend that $50 or $30 dollars on diapers or food. While that is true, it doesn’t mean I can’t treat myself every now and then. Even if it’s bringing back my “Iced Coffee Fridays,” I’m not going to deny myself simple pleasures (unless they’re way out of our budget).
I will not forget to be grateful for the little (and not-so-little) things in life
While anxiety and depression are real and can make day-to-day life incredibly difficult, I absolutely feel that practicing daily gratitude can vastly improve mood. When life becomes overwhelming or I want to vent about ALL the things, I will remember that I am blessed beyond measure and am largely in control of how I feel.
I will not restrict the foods I eat or let exercise become a compulsion
Do I want to be healthy in 2017? Absolutely, especially since I’ve been over-eating the cookies and over-imbibing the booze. However, I refuse to let those things—food and exercise—control me. When a workout becomes a method to “erase” the calories I consume, then it’s no longer healthy.
A new type of #resolution for the #NewYear #TOL #selfcare Share on XThese are just a few of the “anti-goals” I have for the year. More than anything, I just want to live happily, confidently, and compassionately. And I don’t need a New Year’s resolution for that. <3
[thanks for letting me think out loud]
So tell me…
- Do you normally set resolutions for the New Year?
- What is your “anti-goal” for 2017?
I love these Catherine; the temptation to set really lofty high goals that won’t happen is very real for me, but a lot of these are anti-goals I would make for myself too. FAMILY over blog work. I’m learning that this year, and it’s a great lesson!
Yes, the blog will always be there but those fleeting moments with family won’t. Happy NY, Emily!
Loooove this post!! I made a list recently of things that make me feel shitty to stop doing in 2017 – anti goals for the win!
Hope your new year is off to a good start <3
Thanks, Leah…hope yours is too.
Here’s to anti-resolutions!
This is so great. I hate resolutions because they always add too much pressure (we have enough of that already). I don’t have any anti-resolutions, but I do have a word: stillness. I want to pursue this with my body, my mind, my heart, so that I can be more present for my family and for those around me. It’s getting harder to be still in this world, so I’m at least going to give it a shot.
Great word! I haven’t come up with a persona word for this year but I love the idea. I definitely want to be more present though!
I don’t normally set resolutions because I don’t really like them. Sometimes, I’ll set goals (and this year is PACKED with them) but mostly, I just get up and push GO on January 1st. I do really like these anti-resolutions! I hadn’t really thought of it that way before – if I were to set one for myself for 2017, I guess it would be to NOT let some of those little things bother me so much. The past few months have been kinda tough and boy, have I been good at taking EVERY LITTLE THING to heart. I need to stop that.
I’m so guilty of letting the little things bother me, too. Good luck to you in 2017! I hope you meet – and exceed – all those goals you’ve set for yourself. 🙂
I love this list. I am guilty of putting my writing over other things in my life so I should work on being better at prioritizing too.
All the best for 2017.
It’s hard to put other things first of our biggest passions, but I totally understand. Good luck to you in 2017!
These goals hit me pretty hard. I think saying no is something I struggle with. Not the act of doing it, but of feeling guilty over it. No more. If I don’t want to do something, that is simply what it is.
Yes, I struggle with that guilt, too. I hope your year is full of doing what you love and very little guilt!
I love this approach rather than the typical resolutions! I am also going to try and stop mindlessly complaining and doing nothing to change or fix the situation. I am so guilty of doing that time and again!
I think most of us are guilty of mindlessly complaining – totally part of being human. But life is so much better when we limit it.
Ah, this post speaks to me so much!!!!
<3
I heart this. SO MUCH. This year, I WON’T allow myself to bully myself. It might take some work, but I won’t do it!
Yes! No more bullying ourselves. We deserve better.
What a great way to look at the new year! I love this idea! This year I will NOT say ‘yes’ to everything! I always pack my schedule too full and this year I will learn to say no!
I totally get it – it’s hard to say “no” because we want to do it all and make everybody happy. Hope you’re able to “choose your yeses” wisely.
These are all so good! I especially resonate with the one about not letting fear get in the way. I want that in a lot of areas of my life. I don’t want to miss out on things or opportunities because I was afraid to speak up.
Also, get that mani!!
Next free weekend, I’m getting that mani. Actually, it will probably be the massage I’ve been saving for almost a year, but same difference. 🙂
Love this!!! I’ve got a list of anti-resolutions as well! 1.)keep negative comments/observations to myself 2.) Less swearing :p 3.) Don’t beat myself up over lack of blog posts/keeping up on it. Then a regular resolutions – to write down 1 good thing that happened each day 🙂 Good luck with your anti-resolutions!!
Less swearing…dang it (<--yay!) I forgot that one. I need to work on that too, especially since my toddler has entered the repeat EVERYTHING stage. Good luck with yours, too!
love this! i want to work on ending my mindless complaints. and not feeling guilty for self care as well!
It’s so easy to complain mindlessly…but I’ve always found it just puts me in a worse mood than I was in before. Good luck with you goals for the year!
Amen! I love this!
While I did set three small goals for the year, they are totally doable and not a list of 10 things that I will soon forget about or not be able to manage once I have two under two soon.
I am definitely with you on the self care and not ignoring some splurges for myself. Pedicures and coffee dates (alone away from my whole family!) are what I’m hoping to “splurge” on this year, although neither are that pricey but I too always talk myself out of them and think I could spend the time/money some other way. It’s so important to maintain ourselves as individuals and recharge!
Yes, we must take time to recharge!
I think “do-able” goals is where it’s at…and I’m kind of setting small ones throughout the year rather than making lofty ones in Jan.