Every single day for me is a practice in valuing and loving myself.

As a chronic people pleaser who yearns for acceptance and respect from my loved ones and the authority figures in my life, it’s not easy to simply wake up, ready to take on the world simply because.

My inner critic is harsh.

She is oh-so-perceptive—finding disgust in the most benign comments and behaviors from loved ones.

She’s conniving—always finding ways to invalidate and erase genuine feelings of accomplishment, joy, and self-assurance.

Even when she takes a break—when she’s put in her place by self-compassion and acceptance—she’s never really gone.

I can’t be the only person who struggles with an unrelenting inner critic whose acerbic “you’re not good enough” has frequently become an impossible life soundtrack.

I thought this post would tie in nicely to the themes of Mental Health Awareness Month, so the next time your inner critic has you questioning your value, try one of these 5 responses.

1. Acknowledge your pain, and accept that struggle is simply part of the human experience

I paraphrased that one from Dr. Kristin Neff, whose book, Self-Compassion (affiliate link), helped reshape my idea of self-acceptance.

Essentially, instead of trying to invalidate or deny hurt feelings, we should accept them and recognize them for what they are. Then, we should react in a compassionate way—just as we would toward a friend or family member who’s hurting.

Treat yourself gently and with respect, and you will find that your imperfections will not break you, so long as you practice kindness to yourself.

2. Remind yourself: you are the only “you”

One of my biggest difficulties is accepting that, yes, I am intrinsically valuable to the people in my life. I know that sounds pretty terrible, and while I objectively know that many people love, admire, and depend on me, my inner critic still tries to convince me that I’m a burden instead of an asset.

However, as cliché as it sounds, I am an asset because there is not a single person on this planet who possesses the same talents, humor, dreams, kind thoughts, and ideas that I do.

Same goes for you. Even if you feel as though you don’t contribute enough or can easily hide amongst the crowd, there is still a tiny space in this universe that would be empty without your existence.

3. Find humor in the situation

Work has been extremely busy lately, so, consequently, we’re all pretty stressed. The other day I reached a breaking point; when somebody gently pointed out an error I had made, all that pent up anxiety and stress started flowing. I got so angry and went on a sarcastic, cynical, and self-deprecating tirade. That’s not funny in and of itself, but when I look back at it, it makes me laugh because I take everything to extremes.

Now when the stress gets to me, I just comment about that day. I poke fun at myself and the irrational way I reacted to something quite minor.

4. Challenge yourself to prove your inner critic wrong

When I was younger, the surefire way to get me to do something was to tell me I couldn’t. I don’t mean that I challenged authority or misbehaved, I simply mean that I always had to prove myself to the doubters and naysayers.

Next time that negative voice inside tells you you’re just going to fail or make bad choices that ruin a potential relationship, kindly tell that voice to “F off” and show it what you’re made of.

None of us is stuck. Even if we have to “fake it till we make it” a little, we still have the potential to prove our inner critics wrong.

5. Translate your struggles into art or movement

If your inner critic is being extra persistent and burdensome, try turning part of that pain into something beautiful.

Whether you write, paint, sculpt, dance, play music, bake, or forge antique weaponry, there is something you can do to process suffering into art or something that evokes greater purpose.

We all have some kind of creative gift, and like Elizabeth Gilbert suggests in Big Magic (affiliate link), we owe it to ourselves not to ignore inspiration.

5 ways to respond to your inner critic #mentalhealthmonth #4mind4body Share on X

[linking up with Amanda for thinking out loud]

So tell me…

• How does your inner critic hurt you the most?
• Do you have any other advise for handling tough emotions?