I mentioned the other day on Instagram that I’m having trouble “trusting my own journey.”
Mostly, though, I think I’ve been struggling to UNDERSTAND and TRUST my own voice, experience, and “expertise” (not that I’m a certified “expert” on anything, really).
Blogging is weird.
I bare so much of myself—some really vulnerable inner workings that I don’t even like discussing with my husband or even my therapist—for complete strangers to read, so I’m putting myself at risk for intense scrutiny.
Usually I don’t experience negative backlash—in fact, over the years, I’ve received some really positive and uplifting comments from people who’ve identified with my writing or lived similar experiences—but I’d be lying if I told you I never question myself, especially since blogging has grown into this legitimate industry with ACTUAL experts and professionals taking to the web.
In fact, I’ve felt lately that everything worth saying has already been said. I feel as if I’ve run out of words—or perhaps I haven’t yet discovered anything new or relevant or how to articulate it.
Normal folks would call this “writer’s block” I guess. 😉
Lucky for me, my blog is my creative outlet and hobby. Currently, I don’t make a dime off of it (just the occasional free product that jives with my lifestyle and message), so I have the luxury of working through a creative rut at my own pace. I don’t fight it, or force it—I just roll with it.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just “roll with” all aspects of our lives?
I mean, of course we all have responsibilities that must be met—I have a beautiful young son who needs my nurturing and guidance and also owe mortgage payments since we’ve purchased a home—so I have a lot of obligations (financial and other) to my family.
I also can’t really “roll with” the desire to sleep in instead of going to work, but outside of the normal “adulting” we all must do in some shape or form, can’t I choose how I want to divvy up my precious stores of energy?
In the grand scheme of things, scheduled blog posts or curated photo posts don’t matter. They’re truly insignificant. And yet, we owe it to ourselves to find little things that bring us joy.
So, right now I’m not forcing anything. When inspiration hits again (and it will), I’ll be sure to follow Elizabeth Gilbert’s advice to grab ahold of it, but for the time being, I’m just going to enjoy my space and voice and be careful not to sink into the comparison, insecurity, and productivity traps.
Trust your own journey <3 Share on XAfter all, a journey must first be LIVED.
So tell me…
- If you’re a creative, how do you handle a creative rut?
- Do you have difficultly trusting your own voice/path/etc?
I love what you said in just enjoying space. I can so easily get caught up in sinking into the comparison trap and once you sink, it’s hard to pull yourself back up.
I love following your journey, you seem like a big sister to me in a way. Sending you love this Monday!
Aw, thanks Alyssa. I kinda feel the same way—except I feel like you are much wiser and self aware than I am 😊 I think it’s just in our human nature to compare—best we acknowledge the feeling and then find a new perspective.
Agreed! I have been feeling the same way. Several years ago I thought maybe I would turn blogging in to more of a real paid gig for myself but my priorities and goals and passions shifted 365 degrees after having Aubrey. Lately I haven’t felt the need to blog as much. It often feels like I don’t have a whole lot to say!
Enjoy your family and we’ll be here when the desire strikes you!
I imagine being mommy to Aubrey takes A LOT of your time and energy…as it SHOULD ❤️ In a fantasy world, I’d write for a living but that’s just not my reality. And maybe that’s a good thing, less chance of burnout!