I’ve mentioned before how writing is a form of therapy to me—it’s a method of relaxation (or venting, depending on my mood), finding a way to articulate the many thoughts I struggle to speak out loud, and reaching others who may have similar experiences.

One minute I’m reflecting on current events, and the next I’m attempting to share a recipe and mediocre food photos, so I really don’t know how to label myself. Am I mental health blogger?

I guess it ultimately doesn’t matter, as long as I’m being true to myself and finding some sense of joy, fulfilment, and contribution from this space.

And since I’m being all cerebral and reflective, why not reflect on something that’s been an important part of this last year: actual therapy.

I’ve shared that I’m a big proponent of therapy, and even though I’m grateful for my experience and the benefits I’ve gained from it, I wish I’d done a few things differently.

5 Things I Wish I’d Done Differently When I Began Therapy

1. Begun earlier—and with more frequent sessions

During Bazooka’s first year, I was dealing with PPD/PPA (unofficially). It was a difficult time, and I think I could’ve benefited greatly from counseling and created less tension between Mark and me.

2. Set more intentional goals

For some reason, I’m averse to setting extremely particular goals. Maybe (probably) I have a fear of failure so my thought process is often “why even try?” or I feel that small, attainable goals aren’t “lofty enough,” which leads me to believe I lack ambition. Now I wish I’d set more precise goals, but the great thing is, I can change that RIGHT NOW (and am trying to).

3. Paid more attention to “homework”

The over-achieving, authority-pleasing perfectionist in me was hell-bent on completing my “assignments” in the beginning and being a “perfect client.” Truth be told, my diligence was beneficial and allowed for growth, but somewhere along the path of self-discovery/recovery/growth/etc. I lost that focus and, with it, some of the mindfulness strides I’d made. Recently I asked for more “homework,” and I plan to take it seriously.

4. Allowed it to replace conversations with loved ones

Since I had this lovely new one-sided “relationship” in my life, I inadvertently closed myself off to my family. After some ups and downs, I realized that I was doing myself a disservice by relying solely on this outlet when I needed to share. I’m still an “avoider” at times, but I am actively trying to speak more openly with Mark and other friends/family.

5. Realized I’m not there to be entertainment

In addition to feeling as if I have to be the “perfect client,” I also fear that, if our 50 minutes don’t include some kind of huge revelation or breakthrough, then I’m wasting her time. I spent far too much time early on planning out what I wanted to say, worrying about whether our conversation would be a boring waste of time or “entertainment” so to speak. To be quite honest, had I simply shown up ready and willing to simply talk, things probably would have progressed more naturally.

Going to therapy has been an eye-opening experience. Although I wish I’d done these few things a bit differently, I don’t regret my journey.

5 Things I wish I’d Done Differently in #Therapy #mentalhealthmatters #MHAP Share on X

Therapy is something I’ve benefitted from greatly, despite having to show up when I wanted to hide, learning to place my trust in a stranger, asking myself some difficult questions, and nudging myself to wade through some deep emotions and piece together haphazard thoughts into something that makes sense.

For a while, I thought having a therapist meant I was broken. Or a cliché. Or just a privileged woman who couldn’t handle her “problems” on her own, but now I know those assumptions were unfair, uninformed, and just plain wrong.

Therapy can benefit anybody. Yes, it can help you deal with trauma, abuse, a failing relationship, or an undiagnosed mental health condition, but it can also be a tool added to an assortment of habits that simply strengthen us and help us live our lives as fully as possible.

That’s why I talk about—and aim to normalize—this stuff. That’s why I am unapologetic about my own journey with therapy and why I will continue to be transparent with you guys. If it helps or encourages just one of you, then it’s worth it.