Warning. Heavy, divisive topic and lengthy post ahead. If you are on the opposite end of the spectrum, feel free to skip this one.

However, I’m a big fan of dialogue (it’s something lacking within our public and political sectors!), so if you’re able to be courteous and respectful (no name calling), then I encourage you to hang around and share your thoughts in the comments. 

How Motherhood Has Shaped My Support of Reproductive Rights

I’m a mother. 

I adore my child, and, as cliché as it sounds, I would sacrifice my own life if it meant saving his.

He’s my joy (and sometimes my pain). He brings lightness and brightness when he smiles and delights in my swinging him through my legs or chasing him around the house, and my existence would be far less fulfilling without him in my life.

But…I’m pro-choice.

Or perhaps the term should be pro-compassion.

I strongly believe that adequate healthcare is a human right, and that includes a woman’s access to abortion.

Plain and simple.

(Ok, nothing is plain and simple—especially the women’s reproductive rights debate.)

HB314: The Alabama Human Life Protection Act

Most of us have seen the news: Alabama (my home state, bless its little heart) has passed the most restrictive anti-abortion law to date.

The law, which I hope will be struck down in the lower courts for its unconstitutionality, forbids abortion after the knowledge of a pregnancy, even in cases of rape and incest. 

The single exception, “in cases where abortion is necessary in order to prevent a serious health risk to the unborn child’s mother,” is open to much interpretation and must be verified in writing by the attending physician and another practicing physician).

I have read the text of the bill, and to my understanding, the woman experiencing the abortion or attempted abortion cannot be criminally charged (correct me if I am wrong; there may be other laws on the books I am missing); however, this law is essentially blackmail. It is designed to thwart physicians’ medically and ethically reasoned practices, leading them to compromise their integrity and best judgment due to fear of not only losing their career but serving jail time up to 99 years!  

So, the abusive uncle who rapes and impregnates his 12-year-old niece could potentially serve LESS JAIL TIME than the doctor who performs an abortion on a young, innocent, traumatized, VICTIM.

Do you see what’s wrong with this bill?

As a mother, I care more about my child and his well-being than anything. 

And by living through pregnancy, sorting out maternity leave, ruminating anxious thoughts about my baby’s health, dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression, juggling parenting with a full-time job, and convincing myself that, “yes, I am a good enough mother” to my tantrum-throwing offspring, I’ve earned my say in this conversation. 

3 Reasons I Support Reproductive Rights for Women 

1) I am not every woman

I like to say I’m pro-choice but personally anti-abortion. Given my age, health, marital status, employment status, personal faith, and overall privilege/comfort in life, I am in the place where a pregnancy (surprise or planned) would be a blessing and an elective abortion would never be something I’d consider. (Now, if my life were threatened or the fetus had a severe abnormality resulting in unviability, I’d follow my physician’s advice and do what’s best for my health and my family.)

But I am not every woman.

I am not the woman trapped in an abusive relationship whose pregnancy would tie her to a man who beats and berates her.

I am not a 14-year-old girl who was raped and impregnated by an uncle or family acquaintance.

I am not the giddy pregnant woman who learns she has an aggressive form of cancer requiring chemotherapy and radiation, who’d rather fight to stay alive for her husband and their other young children than carry a pregnancy to term only to die shortly after.

I am not the single mother working 3 jobs (with no health insurance or maternity leave) to support her precious children, who learns of a pregnancy after her birth control fails and her boyfriend bails on her.

I could go on and on.

Empathy—being cognizant of my privilege while being able to place myself in the situations of women far less fortunate than I—is why I am pro-choice. Outlawing safe abortion puts an undue burden on the underprivileged who may not have the alternatives or support system I have.

2) Abortion is hardly ever an easy or light decision

I don’t know that many people who have had abortions (or perhaps the women who’ve had them are afraid to be open about their experiences), but none of the women I know made their decisions lightly. 

(Side note: check out the #youknowme hashtag on Twitter and other social media to hear women sharing their personal stories—some tragic, some triumphant.)

Even if terminating a pregnancy is the best decision (for health or other reasons), it is often a physically and emotionally painful process.

Many women grieve their losses just as if they’d grieve a natural miscarriage or death of a child. And physicians are ethically required to provide all possible options for their patients and never to intentionally cause them pain or suffering.

If somebody you know has had an abortion, don’t assume they were reckless. While, yes, some women (and men, because they’re an equal part of this equation) are irresponsible and may use abortion as a means of birth control, most abortions are done out of desperation, not carelessness.

3) It’s cruel to further victimize the victim

One of the arguments I continually hear is this: “all life is sacred; therefore, abortion is wrong.”

I also believe that all life is sacred, and I think most people do! But instead of applying that belief only to those inside the womb, I also apply that belief to the mothers.

(It’s worth noting that one day after signing the bill—“a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God” into law—Governor Kay Ivey allowed a scheduled execution—the seventh of her tenure—of a convicted murder.)

It may be immoral to decide who gets to live or die, but is it not also immoral to knowingly deepen somebody’s trauma? Is it not a metaphorical punch in the gut to tell a woman, “we know you relive your sexual assault every single day, but we value the product of forced insemination more than we do your well-being?”

Forcing a woman to endure a full-term pregnancy and the potential trauma of childbirth (yes, childbirth can be traumatic in some occurrences), isn’t compassionate. In fact, it’s cruel.

Now, recovery is unique to the individual. Some rape victims may heal differently and choose adoption or even to raise the child as their own (I have the utmost respect for those women!), and that can be a beautiful thing. I just don’t think we need to willfully harm and victimize the victim further.

In fact, opposition to these types of bills isn’t wholly about abortion; it’s about compassion! Just knowing that a woman retains some of her autonomy when faced with a forced or health-jeopardizing pregnancy and providing her with enough compassion to enable her to make an informed choice is humanity-affirming.

If you made it this far, thank you. I hope we can share a respectful discussion, if you’re inclined to discuss.

If not, I hope this topic at least made you think and experience a wave of compassion. If we want to reduce abortions—which I think most of us do—then we need to encourage our legislators to pass legislation that does the following:

improves sex education curriculum in schools

provides men and women with greater access to birth control

further supports single mothers, abuse victims, and survivors of sexual assault

teaches men and women about consent and realizing their self-worth

values the knowledge of experienced physicians

makes the process of adoption more accessible

facilitates access to health services and screenings for lower income women

creates a better support system for those struggling financially

mandates paid maternity/paternity leave with improved postpartum care/screening

and much more.

So tell me…

• If you disagree, tell me how (but be respectful; I won’t approve comments containing name-calling or outright bullying).
• Have you ever dealt with a women’s health issue and felt undue pressure/judgment/etc.? In what way(s)?