The other day, a friend of mine posted a wonderful article in our online mommy support group: Every woman has an ‘I don’t’ list. And it’s time we shared them. 

As suggested by the title, the article highlighted the guilt that’s pervasive among well-meaning, high-achieving mothers and the unrealistic expectations of the “hustle culture” that decimate our self-esteem by encouraging us to always “do more.”

Whether a mom works full-time, stays at home, or does some combination of the two, she will face numerous struggles and frequently ask herself, “how can I do it all?”

NOBODY CAN DO IT ALL

Gratefully, we don’t have to let our struggles break us down.

We don’t have to compare ourselves to celebrity moms who effortlessly “do it all,” because, reality check: they have help. Lots of help!

We don’t have to “lean in” when life’s virtual vertigo is already sending us face-first into a pile of LEGOs.

And we don’t have to be ashamed of ANY of this—because we all must make choices that support our personal values and depend on others within our village to hold us up when we’re falling.

The discussion in my mommy group was empowering, and all of our admissions really hit home for me. So I thought I’d share my own “I don’t” list with you all.

MY “I DON’T” LIST

I don’t cook dinner (the husband does—and he enjoys it, most of the time)

I don’t always limit screen time as much as articles say we should, but I make up for it with bedtime stories and mommy-son talks

I don’t fret about too much sugar or too few vegetables, because—damnit!—I just want my picky kid to eat something

I don’t volunteer at school

I don’t exercise as often as I’d like or need to (but I still love those endorphins)

I don’t watch my bad language carefully enough, but I always encourage my son to be kind with his words and actions

I don’t feel guilty for having hobbies that give me a purpose outside of mommy/wife (actually, I do struggle with guilt, but I’m working on it)

I don’t feel bad for seeing my therapist regularly or needing medication to keep my anxiety/depression manageable

I don’t clean my baseboards

I don’t walk the dog often enough (but I do cherish his cuddles)

I don’t care if the bath and hand towels look a little ragged

I don’t feel bad for leaving work at work because my family life is more important to me

I don’t invite the whole class to birthday parties

I don’t always drink enough water (but I try to!)

And, last but not least, I don’t feel guilty for holding strong to my convictions and speaking my mind

Sharing my 'I don't' list...because nobody can do it all Share on X

So tell me…

• Whether you’re a parent or not—what is on your “I don’t” list?
• Do you struggle with our “lean in & do more” culture?