In one week my son begins kindergarten.

Less with the late summer fanfare of front step photos, shiny new lunchboxes, unspoiled backpacks, and nervous, toothy smiles, and more with reconfigured dining rooms, first pairs of “bucks” placed back on shoe store shelves, prayers for uninterrupted internet service, and a whole lot of uncertainty.

In the words of the wise, it is what it is.

Back to School 2020: No Perfect Choice

So much of this year has felt surreal.

And so much of our day-to-day life has been uncharted.

March seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet, weren’t we just figuring out at-home learning the first go-around?

As a parent, I have so many thoughts and worries circulating my headspace.

Will my son fall behind academically?

How can a child sit in front of a computer for an entire “virtual” school day?

Are these social interruptions irreversible or will my son bounce back effortlessly once he’s finally able to step inside his primary color filled classroom and greet his 20 or so new friends and super hero of a teacher?

Will we ever return to “normal”—or some semblance of it?

I know I am not the only parent with these worries.

And some of you have an even heavier burden: children with special needs or health risks, employers unwilling to accommodate your schedules or no family to assist with childcare, or the double whammy of being both a teacher and a parent.

My heart goes out to you and all these tough decisions you’re making.

At the end of the day, there is no perfect choice.

No matter how much pressure we put on ourselves, and how many times we let our anxieties tell us we are bad mothers, we can only do what’s best for our own situations.

Some of you jumped at the chance to send your children back into their classrooms.

Others chose to take a break from traditional school to give homeschooling a go.

You may have quit your job to stay home with your children or taken on extra hours and shifts in order to pay for a nanny.

It’s ok. It’s what you had to do.

Right now, it’s incredibly easy to feel inadequate. To carry the judgment of other moms, to bury our other stressors and needs to care solely for our children. It’s not easy for any single one of us. And it likely won’t be for some time.

So, please, repeat after me: I am doing the best I can. I am providing for my child’s emotional, physical, and intellectual needs the best I can. I am supporting my family the best I can.

The last thing we need to hear right now is the battle cry from mommy warriors or criticism from folks who have never walked in these extremely uncomfortable and ill-fitting shoes.

Our shoulders don’t need to carry more weight than they already are.

There is no universally perfect choice, and there will always be some risk taken that outweighs a barrel full of other risks. No matter what, there is only the right choice for your family.