The month of October marks National Bullying Prevention Month, which was initiated by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center in 2006. Today, October 21, marks Unity Day, a day to promote kindness, acceptance, and inclusion.

I think there should always be a space to discuss initiatives like this further because—spoiler!—a majority of us aren’t living on a united front.

Not at all.

Unity Day: Promoting Kindness, Acceptance & Inclusion

I won’t delve too deep into politics or my personal opinion of divisive, contentious issues, but I do have to say one thing: nothing good can come of this “us versus them” narrative and the acceptance of bullying and belittling on national stages and anonymous platforms.

Nothing.

I’ve written about my own experience with cyber bullying, but that’s not my focus today.

We all know that cruelty hurts, and that any time negativity, hate speech, and abuse are thrust into the atmosphere, it creates further division and silences the voices and ideas that need to be heard.

I don’t have answers on how to combat the lack of unity on the macro level, but I do have some ideas for how we—myself included—can become more unified in our own families and communities.

And it takes into account just a few things: practicing empathy, re-examining our own fears, and holding our loved ones accountable.

Practicing empathy

How many times have you caught yourself reacting to a shocking or saddening headline with “I would never do that!”

We all have, and it’s not an abnormal or harmful reaction on the surface. But when we look at vulnerable people (undocumented immigrants, recovering addicts, homeless individuals, spouses of abusers, pregnant women with no support system, teens with an unstable home life, etc.) and are incapable of empathizing with their situations and the choices their circumstances led them to make, then we aren’t being very kind.

It’s essential that we allow ourselves to look through the eyes of others who may not experience the privileges we know as “normal.” Even though we have moral and legal standards of “right and wrong” and should hold all individuals to those same standards, a broadened perspective stretched by empathy and compassion benefits us all.

Re-examining fear

All of us have fears, and sadly, some of them are unfounded and shaped by the biases inherited from older family members, an isolated experience, or certain voices in the media or public sphere.

Illness, crime, losing one’s job or health insurance are all things to be cautious of, but when we point to a specific ethnicity, sexual identity, or religious group as the cause of these concerns, then it’s no longer a worry, it’s a blatant prejudice.

Reading material that challenges our implicit biases (books about race, for example, I’ve linked to several in the past) or diversifying our peer groups by volunteering or attending a church services and social event outside of our comfort zones is a start. We must immerse ourselves in the cultures and experiences of others before we overcome fear-driven prejudice.

Holding others accountable

Lastly, we must hold our loved ones accountable. Of course accountability is easier said than done, and there is sometimes a fine line between constructive conversation and fueling the division that already exists.

If we truly care for others, however, we will make the uncomfortable choices. We will speak up when an uncle makes a racial slur or if a colleague puts down a coworker of a different race or ethnicity. We won’t be silent when faced with learning opportunities, because, people don’t change if they are not challenged in some way.

Remember on this Unity Day and always to be kind. Step outside of your own bubbles of experience, and listen to the stories and voices of those who travel different roads. We are in this together.